Thursday, April 26, 2012

Manifesting and our 'blueprints / contracts' ~ the how's and why's we get what we want

There have been many books and DVD's published on the subject of manifesting and how to get what we really want in our lives but often one may find that no matter how good they are at manifesting and creating what they want, there are still some things that seem unattainable.

Before we are born and come to earth we create what is called a blueprint or contract. We get together with other spirit's who agree to do certain things in our lives or play specific roles so that we may learn whatever it is that we decide we want to go through, in our quest for soul advancement. Now while some things are more concrete there are some things we decide such as if we choose to take an alternate path, what we may encounter can change. Say for instance you are given the circumstance to turn left or right, what the outcome will be may alter the path you take, so we plan out what we will encounter should we decide to turn left. We also plan out the pains that we will face and the people that will help aide us to suffer. I know that's pretty deep, saying "I want to suffer in such and such way so that I can experience such and such; in doing so my soul will evolve in such a way" which plainly put means that we choose the specifics of our lives, including the abuse, the neglect, the sufferings in which we face that sometimes seem unbearable.

Why would we do this? Why would we choose to suffer? All souls or spirits must go through various experiences in order to advance spiritually, some may choose an easier path, not really concerned with advancing yet more concerned for simply enjoying life and having nearly everything they want (maybe in their past lives they suffered and advanced so much that this time around they decided to enjoy life more and take a break!) Some may choose to come into the world having a well-to-do family so that they don't have to struggle financially but maybe they have other struggles such as finding true love or facing illnesses or disappointment in their family because of lack of compassion or remorse for hurting others. These too are learning lessons for us, to learn to love those despite their lack of morals or values. Others may choose to come into the world rich in one life and poor in another, learning the differences of the pains and struggles of each for further advancement. Maybe in a few lives you were uber rich and learned that wealth isn't everything and decided to come into your next life insanely poor so that you could experience life on the other end of the spectrum and in that adversity learned to create your own wealth by your own means. Or maybe you decided that no matter what, you'd always be poor and struggle as that too is a learning lesson. Maybe by being amongst the poor you had to overcome a hatred towards the rich or a deep compassion for those who need help and a love for the simple things in life, or all of the above.

Either way, we have choices to make before we come to earth and while we are here. Not every detail is planned out as we leave things to our free will, yet we may choose the important things in order to have a full and deeper meaningful soul advancement. If you believe in God and speak often of the benefits of having Jesus in our lives, have you ever met someone that no matter what you said seemed to reject all that you had to say? Speaking until you're blue in the face and the person not budge on their stance? The main reason for this is because it is not their time, it's not part of their blueprint. They have pre-written that they will not accept it until such and such time, even if Jesus Himself appeared to that person, they simply won't budge... because it is not their time and nothing anyone says or does will change that until it is meant to be.

In viewing this idea of a blueprint, does it not make perfect sense then that sometimes we simply cannot manifest the things we may sometimes try with all our might to manifest? Because maybe it just wasn't in our blue print to happen that way? Take for instance someone who has struggled financially their entire lives and they come across the information and all of the tools necessary to be able to manifest anything their hearts desire... now lets say that person masters the art of manifesting on various levels but for some reason they just can't hit the lotto or mega bucks... one could easily understand the reason for this by understanding that maybe it just wasn't written in their blueprint to happen this way. There is always a deeper reason behind things that we can't seem to grasp or create and we must understand that sometimes it's just not meant to happen in the way we think it will.

In creating our blueprints for this life, it is even more complicated than us just sitting down and deciding for ourselves what we want to experience. We must consult with others and make individual agreements with each and every soul and plan out the when's and where's things are to take place. Once all of our agreements are made we go before the Council (in Heaven) and they review the details of our plans. They may suggest changes or discuss that maybe what we have decided to go through is far more painful than what they believe we can handle and do their best to change our minds; maybe trying to convince us to not go through so much in just one life. We may argue our case and stand firm, stating "I can handle it and this is what I want so that I can advance more, faster" and then later while we're here wonder "what in the world was I thinking!?"

Have you ever met someone that you felt you knew before this time? That your meeting them was your destiny? That's part of the soul recognition that we decided we would feel so that when the time came, we would go through whatever experience it was we were meant to have with that particular person. Now maybe that person seemed like your soul mate at first, you feel so close that you feel "this is it!" only to later encounter abuse or torture in some way; wondering later "why in the world things seemed so right and turned out so wrong?" Think of it this way, did you not have to learn an enormous amount from that situation, learn to stand tall in spite of the struggles? Did you not have to learn to be strong, to rise above adversity, learn to forgive and more? Although some of the situations and people in our lives seemed like a horrible experience when we look back, was it not because of those same situations that helped us become the person we are today? Sometimes it's exactly what we needed to give us a 'push' in the direction we were meant to go... take for instance a young woman who has had a happy and carefree life and one day maybe she is raped or beat up by a boyfriend. Maybe after everything she has gone through in the struggles towards her recovery she becomes a therapist who helps hundreds of people in her practice and maybe later writing a book that helps thousands. One could easily understand that she was meant to experience that situation in order to get her set on the path to help others.

Let's take for instance the true story of the girl that they based the movie Soul Surfer on; she was living a wonderful life with a loving family and well on her way to making it big in the surfing world. One day while surfing a shark bites her arm off and through everything, she rises above it all and becomes an inspiration to countless men, women and children who were handicapped, helping them realize that they can still do almost anything they set their minds to and in some cases, helped them live a more fulfilling life. Had she not gone through everything she went through, who would have helped those with handicaps learn to rise above and still continue to dream? Maybe someone else would have agreed, but the point is that it was her... she made a sacrifice (a decision she made in advance) to help others.

Now I know some people reading this may think "well what's the point then, if everything is all planned out, why do I have to do anything at all?" In order to get from point A to point B we must act, we must move... we must face the encounters set out for us so that when we return to Heaven we have accomplished the things we set out to accomplish for advancement on the soul level. Do you think that Ghandi or Mother Teresa were just born into being enlightened and transcended? More than likely, no. They too encountered struggles and adversity, whether it was in the lives we know of or others, before they became who we know them to be.

In understanding that we each have a destiny to fulfill, life may become a little less confusing to us. When we look at the grand scheme of things in this way, it may help us understand that everything isn't as hard as we may think it is at the time we are facing struggles and that this too shall pass. In doing our best to manifest what it is we desire with every ounce of our being, we must continue to dream, to have faith and hope that if it is meant to be, it will be. There are times we may become inspired to manifest something, because we are meant to manifest it. Then there are times in our attempts at manifesting something that we may feel as though we are trying to make the impossible possible. There's a saying that goes "Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says I'm Possible" while I believe this to be true as well as "thoughts become things" and my favorite "To think is to create" we must also remember that if we have a desire to do something, we must act on it (unless it causes pain to others or is against our morals and values - I'm not saying go out and cheat on your spouse because you have an urge) what I'm saying is if you have a desire to manifest that someday you become something great, someone great, then go for it! The worst thing that can happen is that you try your hardest and learn from the experience. Maybe by trying to create one thing you suddenly become inspired to do something completely different and you become a success at that... whatever it is, if you are inspired to do it, then I say go for it! You may surprise yourself and manifest something amazing. You may make all your dreams come true and look back and think "Wow, I did it!" The point is that we must never accept defeat or failures as that, we must look at everything as a learning experience, an opportunity to become someone more loving, more compassionate, more understanding, more forgiving and / or an inspiration to others.

We may have written our blueprints in advance but the great part of it is that most of us don't know what our blueprints contain. Some may seek the advice of someone who can access your Akashic records, where they can view what it is you have pre-written, but you must be careful there. I have heard of some people that are able to access our records but aren't as good at it as they claim to be and sometimes make things up to appease us, while others are very good at it and may give us completely accurate information. In anything we encounter, whether it be Tarot cards or Akashic records, we must learn to use our instincts and best judgment, not hearing what it is we want but understanding when the truth is being told. We ourselves have the ability to view our own records, but it takes a great deal of meditation and prayer and can be learned. In order to read someone's Akashic records one must have our permission to do so otherwise they cannot access it, so have no fear of someone accessing your records as they can't do so unless you request it and grant your permission.

As far as manifesting, it really is not that complicated and we have been doing it long before we realized there was such a thing. In order to manifest, plain and simple we must focus on what it is we really want, believe it is ours and trust that it will come to us, without an ounce of doubt. We must have full faith that it is ours and meant to be ours... as Bob Proctor puts it: the moment we doubt it, may be the very moment it was coming into form and by doubting it we basically make it 'go away'. So again, be careful of what you focus on, for you just may get it. Personally, I leave it up to God. I let Him know what it is I want and believe that if I am meant to have it, it will happen in His time, not mine. I believe that if God has intended me to have something, if it is written in my blueprint, then it will be mine. In trying to manifest something that may not be in our blueprints, it can be quite frustrating and sometimes disappointing. In fact I believe that the key ingridient missing from all of the books and videos made on the subject is God. For how can we possibly manifest anything if God did not intend it to be so?

If our blueprints don't include us hitting the lotto or mega bucks or becoming rich and famous over night, then what are we doing? I believe that if it is a calling from deep within, something we have a burning desire for and feel that we are meant to have, then by all means, manifest to your hearts content... but if it's meant to be, do we really need to work so hard on manifesting it? I say no... if it's meant to be, it will be. If we're meant to manifest something, then it will come easily and we won't have to struggle trying to create something, it'll come when it's meant to as long as we keep working towards our dreams. In order to create anything, we must be active in making that dream a reality. We must take the necessary steps to achieve... if you continually try to manifest hitting the lotto, then wouldn't you need to buy a ticket? If you want to win a race, wouldn't you need to train and enter the race? Of course you would... if you dream of finding your soul mate, wouldn't you need to go out into the world and not sit on your couch day in and day out? Of course! So get out there and make your dreams a reality! Enjoy life and be kind to others... love, trust and have faith! We all have a purpose, a destiny to fulfill, so get out there and make it happen! Dream big and reach for the stars, you just may catch one!

Love & Light,


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Powers of Forgiveness... and the benefits of forgetting

I'm sure you've heard it said many times that it's best to forgive and forget, but so many wonder why? I'm going to do my best here to clear up some of the confusion that people face when it comes to forgiving...  Sometimes there are people that hurt us so badly we find ourselves feeling hatred towards them and maybe even wishing bad things would happen to them; or worse, we may actually hurt them in return in some way. I've heard of abusive fathers that somehow manipulate the system and take their children away from their loving mothers with no visitation rights allowed; leaving the mother worried, angry and traumatized over the loss of her children and feeling helpless and alone. I've heard stories and personally experienced some people that just seem 'out to get us' and basically try to ruin our lives in every way even though we may not have done anything to hurt or harm that person we ask ourselves "what did I ever do to them to make them hate me so much that they'd do 'such and such' to me?" There are many horror stories in the world of people hurting others and sometimes we play the part of the abuser, hurting others and living to regret the pain we caused (if 'we' have a conscious that is!) I once had a 'woman' I'd never met in my life, do so many horrible things towards me that I couldn't help but wonder, "does she know something about a past life that I had that I don't recall hurting her? Why else would she try and hurt me soooo bad?" I found myself constantly being tormented by her, in more ways than one can imagine (I won't go into detail about it here however.)

The point is, there are things that happen in our lives that may have caused us great pain and suffering and sometimes we may not even know where the source of their reason is coming from or what we did to bring this on ourselves. Many have led almost 'different' lives, as they say, we all have a past and sometimes our payback seems to catch up with us...
Whatever the reasons we experience pain and suffering brought on by another person, whether it's Karma or we just feel flat out victimized because we don't recall ever doing anything that would warrant such misery in return, the important thing is that we forgive and let go, forget about it. I used to say that I forgive everyone for everything they did, but I will never forget. In some ways this is a good thing, but in many others it's not so good... forgiveness is the first crucial step but to forget is something entirely different and sometimes even harder to do.   
First off, the most important reasons to forgive others (and ourselves) is because that holding onto hate, anger, resentment, grudges or whatever you want to call it, can actually cause major issues not only to our health but our 'healing' as well. Let's take cheating as an example. I have a friend that had a mom who was a great, loving person. She actually shined she seemed so bright and lovely. She married a man that was a travelling salesman (yes they still exist!) and he was a compulsive cheater. Whatever his reasons for cheating were, I don't know. He was such a compulsive cheater that there were brothel's he frequented and sometimes would lie and take trips out of state just so that he could go to the brothel. My friends' mom found herself increasingly miserable as she found out he was cheating, got an STD, and he began mentally abusing her and basically turned her world upside down. Now the smart thing would have obviously been to leave his sorry you know what, but she stayed for over 20 years. She had become 'comfortable' in her home, didn't work and therefore depended on him to take care of her.
He finally left her for another woman, a younger woman but not before she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Later, after she had one breast removed, then the other, during surgery a small 'piece' of cancer got into her blood stream and landed itself in her reproductive organs... they too had to be removed and by the age of about 50 she died in a hospice facility, still angry and miserable, leaving her daughter with no parents (her dad already passed on) and no one to help guide her and give her the kind of comfort having a loving parent provides.

You see one thing that's a proven fact is that cancer is a man made disease that is brought on by stress and anxiety. The way I see it is that forgiveness or lack there of is a huge reason for this. My friends' mom held so much anger and resentment for her husband that she thought of almost nothing else except for her disgust with him and how horrible of a man he 'turned' out to be. Her anger became a part of her and turned into cancer which if you ask me, she may have also been harboring anger towards herself as well, for staying in such an abusive relationship and allowing it to go on instead of making a clean break. She not only didn't forgive him, but she didn't forgive herself either, for making poor choices in her choosing him and choosing to stay with him.

Forgiving ourselves plays a huge part in our lives, not just shrugging it off and sweeping it under the carpet; no it's not as simple as that if you ask me. I believe that it's similar to confessing our sins, in order to obtain true forgiveness for ourselves whether we're confessing to God or trying to let go of something we ourselves did, we must first take a good, long, hard look at what it is we did. If we hurt someone and are truly sorry, we may find ourselves breaking down in tears, sobbing and feeling the pain as if we did it to ourselves. We may even feel the pain more than the person we did something to. There have been times that others 'shrugged' off something that I did and I found myself beating myself up over it, crying and feeling just awful. That's actually a good thing, because hopefully we learn not to do something like that again and realize that by hurting others we truly are hurting ourselves (in more ways than one.)

When we find ourselves making mistakes, or choices that changed our lives and had a major effect or consequence, we must learn to forgive ourselves and not beat ourselves up over it. I'm not saying to shrug it off and pretend we didn't do it, because deep down we'll continue to feel the pains of the 'wrong' choice we made. When I was younger I made a lot of money and thought I always would, I took it for granted and spent money as if I had millions in the bank and always would. Later, I found myself nearly homeless and broke and realized years later that I was beating myself up for it for so long that it was having an effect on my finances for over 10 years! If you disappoint yourself to the point that you're angry and bitter towards your choices, it does have a ripple effect and changes how you attract things into your life... forgive yourself, you're only human and we all make mistakes, especially when we're young.

What we put out, comes back to us... Karma or the butterfly effect, whatever you want to call it or believe in, everything we do comes back to us in one way or another. I've met people that say they don't believe in Karma and that nothing comes back to them and they continue to do mean things, thinking they'll never have to pay the piper. Well good news is that the Universe has a law of balance and all things come full circle. So whether you do great and marvelous things or horrible and mean things, whether in this life or the next, it will all come back. And it won't just come back, it'll come back TEN FOLD!!! 

I've also heard it said by many people that before we go to Heaven, there is an area we go to reflect on our life and 'watch' what we have done, the good and the bad. That everything we did here on Earth we will feel and experience... the pain we've caused others and the good things we did. It allows us the chance to fully understand what our actions and deeds caused in another person's life as well as ours. Let's say that you stole money from someone and went out shopping, blew the money and felt no remorse nor experienced any sort of Karma or payback. But what if the person you stole from wound up heading down a downward spiral and it ruined half their life because of the financial setback and the pain and suffering they endured as a result?

What if because of one thing you did to someone hurt them so much that they were never able to heal and recover? Would you really want that on your conscious or are you going to be one of 'those' people that reverse the blame and say it's their own fault for 'not getting over it'? What if because of the pain and suffering you cause that person, you come back in your next life as a dog that gets beat up, neglected and starved to death as a way of balancing your Karma? OK, so you don't "believe" in reincarnation... well WHAT IF it's real? What kind of paybacks would you have coming your way? Think about it, do you really want to learn the hard way and suffer in your next life? Is it really a wise choice to choose not to believe and have it bite you in the hiny later?
I know such a man... he doesn't believe in Karma or reincarnation and who knows if he even believes in God. He cheats on his wife with numerous women to the point that he even pays for their housing so that he can come and go as he pleases and have his way with them. He did crooked deals in the mortgage and real estate industry, ripped his employees off, partied like a rock star doing hard drugs and drinking and didn't go home to his faithful, loving wife until late at night almost every night and when he did he stumbled in drunk. He eventually lost his business as a result (two businesses actually) and shortly later he lost his house worth over a million dollars. He lost all of his money and is now going to prison for the fraud he committed. So for those that don't believe, you've got another thing coming, I'm sorry to say.

Back to the subject... forgiveness of others and ourselves not only plays a major role in our health and happiness now and in the future, it also can make for a happier life. When we hold onto things such as anger, grudges, fear, or resentment, they cause turmoil in our lives and sometimes consume us to the point that we forget who we really are. My friends mom used to be so loving and caring for others but later found it hard to show her concern and love because the anger became too much for her and she just couldn't seem to move past it. Sometimes a person is so miserable because they can't forgive that they resent others for being happy which in turn causes more misery for the person holding onto the anger.

Another reason that we must learn to forgive others is because it is not up to us to judge them or not forgive. Yes, it is up to God. Yes, He is the ultimate determining factor in forgiveness and He forgives all, if it asked for with a genuine heart and feeling remorse for the misdeed done. The way I see it, is if God can forgive someone, who am I not to?

None of us are greater than God and if He can forgive us for our sins, who are we to think that we shouldn't forgive others? Regardless of what anyone does to us, no matter how horribly painful the hurt they caused us or our loved ones, we must forgive them... not only for ourselves but for our future. For if we don't forgive others, how can we ask God to forgive us?

The main reason forgetting is a crucial next step in the forgiveness process is because of the law of attraction... now regardless if you believe in it or not, it exists and it happens. As in my previous post about Abuse, the law of attraction works in many ways in our lives. If we don't forget about something no matter how horrible the deed was, we will inevitably recreate it if we don't let it go and forget about it. I once read a prayer request on a website, the girl said she had been sexually harassed and assaulted at more than one job and it kept happening. First off, by saying 'it keeps happening' your words create your reality and by saying it in that way, you are basically 'putting it out there' that it continues to happen in your life.

If you put something out there like that, it will happen and continue to happen because you believe it and have passion behind it. Because the girl feels 'victimized' she gives the law of attraction even more power to create it as a reality in her life. If you 'feel' any certain way, for a period of time and with passion, it creates it even faster. So to feel victimized you are basically requesting it to happen again. I know it's not 'cool' at all but if you flip it to something positive it is... whatever you focus on, you create. If you focus on misery and turmoil, that's exactly what you'll get. If you focus on your fears of something, you create it even faster. We have the power to choose our thoughts and our feelings, so we must choose wisely. 

I used to say that I forgave others and later in conversation I would tell a 'story' to my best friend and she'd say I didn't forgive them because if I did, then I would forget about it. My response would be that I forgive everyone but I would never forget so as not to allow it to happen again. In analyzing this further I realize that she was right. Forgetting is not such an easy thing to do but in order to not recreate the situation, we must forget about it! Now that's not saying that we should continue being friends with someone that just flat out crossed the line, hurt us far too much or took advantage of us in a cruel way or stay in an abusive relationship, that's not it at all. There is such a thing as moving on and moving forward. If someone hurts us to the point that it's almost unforgivable (everything is forgivable) it doesn't mean that we shouldn't walk away! Forgive and forget for your own health and peace of mind.
If someone is hurting you, as in abusing you, then yes, get away. If you know that they are going to continue hurting you, move on! Get out and get away! You don't have to tell them you forgive them, that's not necessary. The forgiveness process is mostly for us, for you... not them. Our being mad at them isn't going to change their life (especially if they have no remorse) and getting even doesn't do anything except effect your future Karma. In order for us to live a healthy, happy life, we must forgive and forget, let go and move on. If you choose to keep someone in your life, that's your choice and we shouldn't just 'walk away' from everyone, I'm not saying that either. Use your best judgment or seek professional help. The main point is that you understand that forgiving and forgetting is for you to heal, be happy, healthier and live a longer, more fulfilling life. To err is human... to forgive is divine.

God Bless!

Love & Light,


Friday, April 13, 2012

Dating again... how soon is too soon?

I have heard many different opinions on how soon is too soon to date after a break up and they all vary... In my personal experiences I have found that some 'time off' is best after a break up and a friend of mine recommends at least 6 months. I've also heard it said that if you're still talking about 'them' or thinking about them, then it's too soon!

I once heard in a movie that a good rule of thumb is a week for every month that you were together or a month for every year. So if you were say married for 3 years, then you should wait at least 3 months but if you were dating for say 6 months, then at least 6 weeks before you decide to get back out there. I would say much longer if for some reason the relationship was abusive in any way in order to give yourself time to evaluate the why's and how to avoid a similar relationship.

I was filming on the set of a new movie the other day and met someone who had just broken up with their live-in girl friend the day before. He was already on the prowl (so to speak) and was anxious to get back out there. I can understand that maybe because he's getting up there in age he may be a little impatient and looking for a companion however it is not logical if you ask me.

Jumping from one relationship to the next in the past for me proved to be not a wise choice for numerous reasons. One common reason is 'the rebound' relationship usually never turns out well as we seem to carry over our habits and reactions from the previous relationship. Let's say for example the person you were living with had habits and behaviors that may have been demanding and your typical reaction was to tune them out or snap back at them... going into a new relationship almost immediately would typically cause you to have the same reactions to the new person and hence, you basically just created the same identical relationship, just with a new person. If you allow yourself time alone and time to heal then the chances of your having the same relationship will be less likely.

If by chance you were in a somewhat 'controlling' relationship and your reactions to that was either to bow down and do what you're told or to rebel and do exactly the things that person didn't want, then again, you're carrying old baggage into the new relationship. In many cases the new person may not be controlling at all and may just express concerns or desires and instead of hearing them for what they are, you're initial reaction may be one of frustration and / or anger, carried over from the resentment you felt from the previous relationship.

Although I myself have been guilty of 'jumping' into a new relationship almost immediately after a break up, I don't recommend it. I used to think 'well this time it'll be different' or 'he's a great guy and I can't wait or I might miss out' are all things that only seemed to get me into trouble and have repeat relationships, even though it was not my intention.

I would have to agree with my friend, at least 6 months is a good rule of thumb if you had a serious relationship. Now if it only lasted a few months then I'd say wait at least 6 weeks and allow yourself time to be with yourself for a bit. Get back into a normal routine of doing things on your own, remember the things you liked to do and maybe didn't get to while you were in a relationship.

Another thing I've learned the hard way, is to remember that when you are in a relationship to always have some 'me' time. I have found myself being guilty of this too... when in a relationship we sometimes give up our 'me' time for 'we' time and in essence may neglect to do the things we truly enjoy doing. For some it may be reading a book, surfing the internet for the latest news, playing a video game or for me personally, it was reading and doing my tarot cards.

Not a lot of people are understanding of how fun and accurate tarot cards are and so to avoid conflict, I wouldn't do my cards for fear of an argument or being ridiculed. Now, before entering a relationship I know to make sure that there are no misconceptions or disagreements about tarot cards because I don't want to be with someone that isn't open-minded and understanding that they aren't 'bad'. My ex-husband was ok with me doing my cards but he seemed to have feelings of neglect if I chose to read a book! He didn't like it when I wrote or read because he felt he was being ignored or that I spent too much time reading. I personally like to read a book almost non-stop, so it may take me a couple of days to finish a book and I choose to read it in every bit of my spare time. I just find that one absorbs it more if you don't put it down for a few days and it's just more enjoyable and memorable if you read it from cover to cover.

Now, after doing research I've learned that it's actually advised that in order to maintain a healthy relationship one must do things that they enjoy doing, especially having their personal 'me' time to do the things that make them feel like 'themselves'. Now obviously there are some things that being in a relationship causes us to change about ourselves, like going out with our single friends to clubs into the wee hours of the night. Most people know that clubs are technically a 'meat market' and if you're drinking you're putting yourself in a dangerous position for the chances of cheating. Our senses are dulled, our judgment and decision making become blurred and let's face it, when 'we' drink we just aren't thinking straight. It's best to change anything that puts you in a position to make poor choices and may cause one to cheat... just saying.  

Back to the subject at hand, I must say that if you're in fear of being alone or in the case of my new friend, he's just looking for someone to enjoy life with; I would have to say take it slow! Yes life is short, but in the long run if you allow yourself some time before jumping into another relationship, the chances of that relationship being more successful increase. If you allow yourself some 'me' time before pursuing a new person / relationship, your goal of having a successful relationship may actually have a better chance of survival as opposed to repeating the previous relationship and the same or similar problems. 

So if you just broke up with someone, whether by your choice, their choice or mutual consent, ask yourself "do I want the exact same relationship or do I want one that could possibly last a life time?" If the answer is one that could possibly last a life time, then I say WAIT! Give yourself some time and learn how to enjoy being on your own for a bit... remember the things that make 'you' YOU! I've heard it said many times that if you can't be 'alone' or are afraid to be alone, then that's exactly what you must do, for if you can't stand yourself, what makes you think someone else can? In the silence, one learns who they truly are... and in order to fully love another, you must be able to fully love yourself so if you aren't able to be alone, what does that say about you?  

Another thing my new friend said is that he didn't hear her express that there were any problems, he never saw it coming. Which leads me to wonder, was she in the relationship alone or did she feel alone? Sometimes we just go through the motions and take others for granted, this too would be something that I would be analyzing about myself if it were me. It also makes me wonder about how much he was interested in what I had to say but yet didn't hear her? Does that mean that he only shows true interest for a short time and maybe down the road thinks he knows all 'her' stories and in effect doesn't 'talk' to 'her' anymore? Another few things to consider in your 'down time' are all the points or reasons for the break up, to avoid those issues in the future we must figure out what it is that we did to contribute to the other person's choice to leave. If you jump into another relationship too soon, you're missing out on the time needed to understand what may be key issues that 'you' personally have. Are you so absorbed in yourself that you didn't hear their cries for more attention or meaningful conversation?

It's easy to blame the other person and say things like 'oh they found someone else and were cheating' or 'they were just unhappy' and shrug it off as if we didn't play a part in their being unfaithful or not being happy... the key here is that usually a person doesn't stray if their needs are being met, so what did you do to contribute to them WANTING to find someone else?

In short, take some time off after a break up and get back to the basics... figure out what it is you did or didn't do, how you contributed to the break up and dissatisfaction of either yourself and /or your spouse. Figure out what it is you like to do with your free time so that in your next relationship you set some healthy boundaries and time for yourself.

Also, a good thing to contemplate is what you are looking for in a relationship and in a spouse so that you know it when you see it. I know not everything is the way we want it to be or expect it to be, nor are people, but there are some things that we can choose in a mate as far as our personal preferences. For example, I prefer someone who believes and worships God, someone who doesn't drink or drinks only a couple times a month (or less) and someone who is spiritual and believes in things such as reincarnation, karma, being kind to animals, wants to have kids and likes to read. I also observe things like their temper, if they get jealous or have control issues. (Of course my list is longer, this is just an example.) We all have our personal preferences and I believe that we should take our time and get to know someone before we jump into a relationship that may not be what we thought it would be or hoped for.

Jumping into relationships before truly getting to know someone is one of the main reasons that I believe causes 'us' to make a poor choice and land ourselves in abusive relationships. Abuse can come in many forms, whether from someone who is controlling, jealous, have mental issues, or as far as someone being physically or mentally abusive. Take your time and choose wisely, your life may depend on it!

Love & Light,


Monday, April 9, 2012

Don't injure your child!!! How to properly pick up a child and avoid injury, a must read for caregivers and parents!

I apologize if I offend anyone however I would rather offend and help to educate than to see a child injured... enough is enough already.

Since I was about 8 years old I have been caring for children, babies especially. I also went to a college accredited tech school called The American Nanny Plan, Inc. (which unfortunately I cannot find online anymore but was a great school where I earned 24 college units in Early Childcare and Child Nutrition.) I knew immediately that the solution to finding a way to support my son and myself was to become a Nanny and a Preschool teacher, especially since that had been the extent of my work experience up until then, it was the only thing I really knew how to do! I became a Nanny as soon as I completed my education there and later when my son was older I became a Preschool teacher and was able to take my son with me everywhere I went. It was the perfect solution for me and I've been thankful ever since.

What really ruffles my feathers is seeing parents and caregivers of all ages improperly lift children. I had an advantage of the do's and don'ts but what I just don't understand is the lack of common sense and lack of parents and caregivers at least doing some research on the subject of parenting and / or how to properly lift a child. I would think that common sense would tell a person that if YOU can't be lifted safely off the ground by one arm, by your head or even leg, what makes someone think a young child can be? Because many young children can't openly object to the way they are being lifted, I feel compelled to be their voice. In all of my 30 years in child care I have used common sense as well as my education to help aide me but all of the education I've had has left me unable to know how to openly address my concerns directly with a parent or caregiver... I mean how do you tell a parent without offending them that they can dislocate their child's arm by lifting them or jerking them off the ground by one arm? 

I am addressing this concern today because I can no longer hold it in... yesterday I saw a father in a mostly dirt parking-lot carrying an infant of about 11 months in one arm and holding the arm of his second child, around the age of 2. The toddler's shoe was coming off and the distracted father didn't see it, instead the child was trying to fix his shoe by pushing the toe into the ground which caused dirt to scatter through the air... I heard the father sound irritated as he walked too fast for the toddler to keep up as it was, and he said 'Ugh, why do you keep doing that?!!!' with that, he turned to the child and pulled him up by one arm, about 4 1/2 feet off the ground (in a jerking manner) and picked him up. He dropped one of the child's hats on the ground and I quickly ran to pick it up for him, shouting to him that he'd dropped it and I'd get it for him. He was obviously frustrated and abruptly told me that 'he had it'; he refused my help as he bent over quickly, both kids being nearly upside down as he did... I tried to help lighten his mood by saying in a nice tone, that he sure had his hands full and he said that they would be even fuller soon as his wife is expecting another baby!!!!

Now as a mother I can understand how frustrating being a parent is and when I was a Nanny at one time I cared for a toddler of about 2, her newborn baby sister and my son who was about 8 months old at the time. I cared for them in my apartment which happened to be on the second floor (all they had available when I moved in) and I carried three children up and down the flight of stairs every day. I was as gentle as possible and did so out of fear that something could happen to the toddler if I left her at the bottom of the stairs or let her try to climb the stone steps alone, the safest alternative was to carry them all at once. I was successful and had no problems doing so.

I understand that sometimes our nerves are tested by our toddler's, especially if they seem to be dragging their feet, but there is no excuse for not doing research or using common sense to understand that you can dislocate a child's shoulder, elbow and / or wrist by picking them up by one arm. When I carried the three tots up the stairs, I had the baby in the crook of my arm and on my shoulder, body to body; my son holding onto me and me using my hand to help support him, again body to body and when I picked the toddler up I squatted down and scooped her up with my other arm and had her sitting on my hip, never once picking her up by the arm...

I did some research on Google before beginning this post and found little information on the subject however it is there. Most comments I found were from mothers' stating how their child got their arm dislocated by their father picking their child up this way, child care workers who wound up facing abuse charges and a post by a nurse explaining something called Nursemaid's Elbow which apparently is a ligament that becomes pinched when picking up a child by their arms instead of under the armpits. I also found a post by a grandmother who was concerned because her son-in-law picked up his toddler son by not only one arm, but by the foot and lifted him off the ground by placing his hands over his ears and lifting him by his head! Now in my opinion common sense would tell you that these are all very dangerous for a child! But like the saying goes, Common sense isn't so common! So here I am, risking offending parents and caregivers that believe this is acceptable, guess what? IT'S NOT!!!

I also am very bothered when I see parents and caregivers pick children up by their forearms as this not only looks painful but I've seen red marks left on childrens' arms after being picked up in this manner and this is another method that can not only cause the shoulder(s) to become dislocated, apparently it's another cause of Nursemaid's Elbow, causing the ligament in the shoulder to be pinched and apparently is very painful and requires medical attention.

So please, when lifting a child off the ground, out of a chair or out of their crib, pick them up under their armpits! This method is far less dangerous and less painful for the child. But please don't squeeze too tight as you could damage their ribs!
Also, when holding a newborn, please be sure to support their head!

I saw a father of 2 kids yesterday holding a newborn in his arm, with the baby's head dangling off his elbow, instead of resting within it. When I told him he wasn't supporting the baby's head, he looked at me like I was crazy! Really? Isn't that parenting 101? One should always support a child's head when carrying, lifting or holding a baby, especially a newborn. The rule of thumb on this one is, if the child can hold it's head up, then you don't need to support it... but until the child can support it's own head, it is always a must that you support it or you can cause damage to the neck and spine.

This link is for another blog addressing safely lifting a child and a news report on CNN:

I've also personally visited my Chiropractor's office many, many times in the last 15 years to know a few things about picking one up by the head or neck... one of the comments placed by a mother in response to the grandmother's concern about her grandchild being lifted by his head stated that it's OK to pick a child up by the head since when they're born that's how the doctor delivers them.

For the record, let it be known that due to the head being pulled at child birth, a child's spine and neck actually become pulled, twisted and sometimes causes things such as allergies, learning disabilities, ear infections, ADHD, asthma, chronic crying (because of pain and discomfort) and pinched nerves which can lead to numerous health issues. My Chiropractor has pamphlets in his office about the problems child birth can cause and the list is extensive and some can be seen online at his website, link below.

It is actually recommended that babies see a Chiropractor after birth so that they can ensure the child didn't experience any damage or pinched nerves. I don't recommend just 'any' Chiropractor either, as a lot will just make adjustments without first doing x-rays to see what problems exist or can be out of place. I recommend a Holistic Chiropractor who also does Kineseology as they not only do x-rays before even touching a patient but they also do nerve tests to ensure what they are adjusting is needed and beneficial. If you're in the Vegas area, my Chiropractor is Dr. David B. Cohen and he can be found here:

Here's the link for the video of the childcare center that arrested childcare providers for picking up children by one arm, amongst other reasons: the story shows that upon visiting the hospital the hospital contacted the police because the child was in massive pain and could barely move.

Here's a couple of links explaining Nursemaid's Elbow and both links offer other valuable information about childrens' health:

God Bless!

Love & Light,


Friday, April 6, 2012

Abuse... the Truth hurts!

Last night a friend of mine shared something that I feel calls for a new blog on the subject. Not only to hopefully help her but to help shed some light on the subject of abuse in hopes of helping others understand a problem that faces so many.
  Now I am no expert on the subject however I have had some personal experiences dealing with abuse on various levels, I've read some amazing books on the subject as well as delving deep within and analyzing the issues that surround abuse. Although the truth hurts, many must inevitably face the fact that abuse doesn't necessarily start with the abuser (typically the man) it actually stems from much deeper issues within the 'victim' (typically the woman.)

According to Sandra L. Brown who holds a Masters Degree in Counseling and has been working with both the abuser and the victim for about 15 plus years, it is the woman (in some cases the man who is being abused) "You're the one selecting, you're the one choosing to be with them..." most of us don't normally find ourselves in a relationship without first 'choosing' to be in one! As Sandra so eloquently puts it, it is the 'victim' who, somewhere in their life learned how to normalize abusive behavior, therefore thinking 'oh they just have a temper' or 'they like their beer' as opposed to seeing them for what they really are, abusive, an alcoholic or an addict.

What it boils down to is that among the various types of dangerous men, women have somehow rationalized their behavior or think 'they'll change' or they can help them change. When in fact the truth of the matter is that it is 'us' that must change the type of men we choose. Many of us have grown up with 'bad' role models so we don't know what a normal relationship 'looks' like, hence 'we' don't know how to have a healthy relationship. On the other hand, many women have had great role models but maybe their mother with somewhat old fashioned viewpoints on what a 'good' man is merely one who has a good job or is handsome. My own Mom was one such example. She used to encourage me to date someone because they were handsome & / or because they had a high paying job. When in reality these things don't make a man a good choice for a partner, one must look deeper to see them for what they really are, what kind of man are they really? A man could be a wonderful husband even though he doesn't fit into our mothers' idea of what a 'good' man is based on wealth and looks.

What I have learned is that many times there is also something within us that somehow 'attracts' the dangerous man into our lives. Some key examples are low self-esteem, feeling unworthy of love but searching for it none the less, & / or the feeling of being a 'victim' which in itself attracts more victimization into ones life. So in essence if you feel that you are a victim the law of attraction places that into your life, creating opportunities for you to replay the role of being a victim. Although we say that's not what we want, by allowing ourselves to feel as though we have been victimized, one creates the situation to replay itself. If we look at it as an experience in which to grow, we are no longer the victim.

In my personal experience, I have seen that being too trusting and open also places a target on one's back, so to speak. What I learned is that abusers prey (whether consciously or subconsciously) on women who are trustworthy because we lay all of our cards out on the table, openly and honestly showing our weaknesses. As women we feel that being honest, open and trustworthy are good traits to have and in essence, they are. However if we share everything and trust too soon, we place ourselves in the predators hands. It is us that must ultimately decide if someone is relationship material and whether or not they meet our standards of a man we choose to have in our lives. I have learned to listen to my gut feelings, my instincts and that little voice in my head when it warns me, which I know has saved me from getting involved with abusers.
Gavin de Becker author of The Gift of Fear explains that we must listen to our instincts as they are our internal warning systems that pick up on more than what we see on the outer layer of someone and of situations that we find ourselves in. I can recall with precise clarity each time my instincts warned me about someone before I got involved with them. I remember every detail and the words I told myself which wound up landing me in relationships that were not healthy. One being 'oh, he's a nice guy! I have no proof or valid reason to believe he's abusive or not trustworthy.' According to Gavin, we should never talk ourselves out of heeding the warnings that our instincts tell us whether we have proof or reason to support the instinct or not.

For it is within our gut instincts that our lives are dependent upon. If we choose to listen to our instincts we can save ourselves a tremendous amount of grief, heart ache and quite possibly save our lives. Some may say that they never had a gut instinct warning them about a person or situation, that may be because one has gotten so accustomed to ignoring their gut instinct that they no longer hear it when it may be screaming out to them. Gavin's book The Gift of Fear can help you to 'turn on' your instincts once again and learn to listen and eventually save your life. I highly recommend this book to both men and women, young and old. It is not geared towards abusive relationships but more towards trusting your instincts in every situation imaginable.
In my opinion Sandra L. Brown, M.A. wrote one of the best books on the subject of how to spot a dangerous man and one that truly can help change a person's life, man and woman alike. It helps one look back on past relationships and see what it is within us that causes us to be in a relationship that is dangerous.

Some women claim that they just love the bad boys, when in fact it is the 'bad boys' that are among the most abusive of all. I highly recommend her book 'How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved' to all women whether you have been abused or not. It is a great tool to help one in many areas of life and it helps one to recognize problems within ourselves we may not have even realized we had, before it's too late.
Below is a link to an audio recording of an interview with Sandra L. Brown, check it out!

Sandra's Website:

Love & Light,


p.s. I signed up for Sandra Brown's newsletters on her site (link above) and I received the below.  

Five Ways To Find 'Safe' Love

In our surveys, we have found that women spend far more time on learning how to 'attract' or 'keep' a relationship, then looking at the health of it, or leaving it.

If you look at most of the relationship books, it's all about how to find him, attract him, keep him, and get back together with him. But what if what you always seem to attract is unhealthy men? Then your Guy Magnet is not a good thing. Women who have been in dangerous relationships are often more 'attracted to' the bad boys then healthy men. In fact, most women say that if given the choose between the 'nice guy' and the 'edgey bad boy' they would pick the guy with 'the edge.' Women say they often don't even know what 'healthy is' in a relationship. Even knowing that they don't know what 'healthy is' does not slow them or stop them from dating until they figure out what healthy looks like. They keep doing the same thing and getting the same thing--dangerous relationships.

TIME OUT: GAME OFF! If your last 3 or 4 relationships have been unhealthy or even down right dangerous, STOP. Put yourself on a 'Do Not Date Program' until you get some help to find out 'how to spot' unhealthy and dangerous relationships. YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T SEE.

What are some ways to find 'Safe' love?

1. Stop dating until you can learn to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy. If you can't name the 14 signs of a bad dating choice, you shouldn't be dating! If you want to know what those are--get the Dangerous Man book.

2. How are your break up skills? Women worry more about their dating skills then their break up skills. But if you keep picking the dangerous guys, you better know how to quickly and safely end it! These guys do not break up like normal men do. Additionally, women who have been in more than 1 dangerous relationship tend to be women who wait to be 'released from the relationship'--that means, they wait for him to end it and stay far longer than they feel safe doing. However, since they don't know 'how' to end it, they don't. To find 'Safe' love, learn how to break up.          

3. You steer the ship. Women often let the man decide the pace of the relationship--how often they see each other and how fast they get serious. Guess what? Predators have agendas. They want to see you 24/7, they want you to 'think' you have this fast and deep relationship when you've only been dating a few months. You are their 'soul mate' and it's 'never been like this with anyone else.' 24/7 does NOT mean he's 'that into you.' It is often a red flag for predatory agendas. Women should be in charge of the pacing. If you have been doing the 24/7 Tango, pull the plug. Tell him you need a breather for a few days and would like to get to a normal dating schedule (a few times a week). Normal men will accept it. Pathological and dangerous men will: guilt you, rage, blame you, accuse you of seeing other people, threaten to break up, call you/text you 40 times a day. That's NOT normal. But it's best you see that now rather than when he has moved in. Women should always PLAY with the pacing and see what reaction they get.

4. Learn his history. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. What is his past? If you feel like you can't take his word for it, then for $29.95 you can find out ALOT about what he has been up to in the past. Things I always look for as a therapist are, his criminal history, his relationship history, his mental health history.

And contrary to what he might be saying, all the other women weren't 'witches, psycho, or ignorant.' His relationship history is his alone and points to how successful he is at handling the challenges and hurdles of relationship life.

5. Listen to others. STOP 'dissing your girlfriends when they tell you the TRUTH about him. The people around you are your best opportunity to hear about him--to tell you if they are concerned about something, to tell you if you have changed for the worse during this relationship, or to point out patterns that notice in the men you choose. Take your fingers out of your ears and hear it.

Women who want healthier and safer relationships have to begin by acknowledging what they have been in up until now and take the steps to learn and change. If we can help, please let us know.

Here's to Safe Relationships in 2007,

Sandra L. Brown

Psychotherapist & Author

How to Spot a Dangerous Man

Counseling Victims of Violence

Sandra L. Brown, holds a Masters Degree in Counseling and is the Director of The Dangerous Relationship Institute: A Women’s Relational Harm Reduction and Public Psychopathy Education Project. She is the author of ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man’ and is a psychotherapist and author.



Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Angels, the good ones, the Fallen ones and more!

Angels have been around since the beginning of time and show up repeatedly not only in the Bible but in many books where the authors have opened up and shared their deepest secrets to let everyone know, yes, Angels are real and they are all around us. We are born with a Guardian Angel who will be with us from the time we enter the world until after we depart it, they'll be escorting us on our way home to Heaven. We are also born with a Spirit Guide who is also with us every step of the way. And we are also born with a not so good Angel... just like you see in the cartoons, a little Angel on one side wearing white and a little devil on the other wearing red! Maybe the little devil with us isn't wearing red, but it's there. The more we do good deeds and listen to our good Angels, the less we hear or are bothered by the dark one, don't get me wrong though, they are still around and trying to tempt us to do bad things every chance they get.

Angels come in all shapes and sizes and there are also Angels that are incarnated into the human form, living a life as a human just like the rest of us. Some of those Angels are good and some are what is called Fallen Angels. There are different levels of awareness with incarnated Angels as well. I heard of a woman that has gone her entire life, well into her forties without knowing she is an Angel. She saw orbs of light around her all the time but was scared of them, thinking they were ghosts when in fact those were Angels. When your third eye isn't completely open or if your mind is closed to seeing / believing in such things, then one typically doesn't see them at all or if they do, they may appear as little orbs of light of various colors. Imagine a bubble like the ones we used to blow as kids, about the size of a baseball or almost as big as a basketball, those are Angels. I've seen dark entities too and those appear as a dark shadow, moving quickly like a whisp of air. I definitely like seeing the good ones more than the dark ones that's for sure!

Elizabeth Clair Prophet has written some amazing books on the subject going into great detail about Fallen Angels and those that they corrupt, explaining their fall from Grace and the horrible deeds they're up to on earth. I highly recommend her books, she wrote two (that I know of) on the subject of Fallen Angels, one being Fallen Angels Among Us What You Need to Know and the other being Fallen Angels and the Origins of Evil. Her books are not that easy to find so if your local book store doesn't carry them I highly recommend ordering them online. They are a must read if you are interested in learning more. One main point that I'd like to make is that we should not fear Fallen Angels, seek them out or even try to figure out who in our lives are Fallen Angels or corrupted by them. No, our mission here on earth aside from our own personal missions, is to love everyone and fear nothing except God. For as evil as they are, if we are not meant to be hurt by them we won't be. If we believe in God and worship only Him, then we only need to ask for His protection and BELIEVE that He will protect us. There's a saying that basically says, if you give something to God then let it go and don't worry about it anymore, if you gave it to Him then why take it back?

There are also some really good prayers in the back of  Prophet's books, so if you are in fear then I highly recommend you pick up a copy. I prefer the hard copy of books, call me old fashioned but, when I want to read a prayer I pull out my hard copy! You can also ask your Guardian Angel for help in saying a prayer for protection and they will help you find the words needed to ask God for protection. As for the good Angels that have not fallen well, they're everywhere! You only need to say their name and whoosh they're there! I have a deck of cards by Doreen Virtue called Archangel Michael Oracle cards and they are awesome! I simply pull out the deck, call out to Archangel Michael and I can feel him at my side. I ask him questions and the answers that I'm meant to see come out in the cards.

Doreen also has many other decks featuring other wonderful Angels, like Archangel Raphael who is best known for his healing abilities. Michael is great for protection and guidance. Personally if I'm curious about a particular Angel and not sure who to call on, I usually just google Archangel's and there's a plethora of sites with information. There's also some great youtube videos that help with everything from opening your third eye to contacting Angels and communicating with your Spirit Guides. A great book by Doreen Virtue is The Lightworkers Way, where she speaks in depth of her life and her Angel's being by her side since she was a child. It was the first book I read on the subject and still one of my favorites. She also explains how we can heal ourselves and others with light, intention and asking God of course. All healing comes by the hand of God, we are simply a vessel.

Our Angels are here to help us, guide us and protect us the best they can. They cannot interfere unless we ask them to and if they can they will. There are some things that we're meant to experience so if that's the case, they cannot interfere. If it's against our free will, they can't interfere. We must invite them into our lives, ask for their help and pray to God for assistance, guidance and help with whatever the situation is so that He will instruct them. If it's a lesson we must learn, then we must realize that we were meant to experience it and they could not interfere.

There are also ways in which we can protect ourselves with light, whether its from Fallen Angels or dark entities or even just going out in public... have you ever had a friend that seems to drain your energy when you're around them? I have one, he's a wonderful person and he doesn't do it on purpose and he's even aware of it happening! Many people fall asleep at his house and were fully energized when initially walking through the door! White is a very protecting color and all you have to do is imagine / picture white bubbles all around you, protecting you. You can say a little poem to help you picture them and keep there without you're having to continually place them there! Angels of course can enter but nothing dark can. I've found that placing bubbles around myself while visiting with my friend helps tremendously and have been able to retain my energy in his presence. Pink bubbles are great for love, to help ensure that only loving thoughts and things can come near you and green is used for healing. I sometimes will place layers of different colored bubbles all around myself or use an opal type of bubble that is multi-colored so I don't have to worry about several layers of bubbles. Meditation and prayer can do amazing things for you... I recommend meditating on your Chakras to help in balancing yourself and aiding in many areas of your life.

To some, who don't believe in spiritualism, God, Angels or otherwise, this all may sound crazy and think that I'm nuts! Especially for posting this on a public blog! Lol, I know how it must sound but quite frankly, it works. More and more people nowadays are becoming more spiritual and aware that far more exists than what 'we' knew about hundreds of years ago. Some of these things were known but were kept somewhat secret for fear of being ridiculed or named a witch and burned at the stake. Thank God times are changing and upon further research you'll see that what I say is true, it's not only in the Bible but it's in books, movies, and more. If you google '11:11 the awakening code' you'll see many videos and websites explaining in great detail that the time is here for people to wake up to spiritualism, people are coming into amazing 'powers', realizing that God is in fact real and He is in us all. A piece of Him resides in our heart and when we ask / invite Him to come into our lives and hearts you will feel a difference, His presence and more. I know a lot of people that were not spiritual and yet when a loved one was hurt or had a bad mindgrain, they instinctually placed their hands on them and healed them, without ever knowing they could before.

So before you place judgment, call me names or shrug it off, I suggest you do some research, watch some videos and read some books... you'll be absolutely amazed if you try some of these things only to find they work. The key however, is believing and having faith. With just a tiny bit of faith, miracles can and do happen. You can also ask your Angels for a sign, whether it's a tap on the shoulder, a pinch, poke or something else, they can and do let their presence be known if you ask them for a sign. Just like prayers, the more specific you are the better the results. I don't recommend you ask for something crazy like a million dollars to prove they're there, for that's just being materialistic and selfish! I recommend asking them to tap you somewhere specific or ask for them to show themselves or speak to you loud and clear so that you can clearly hear and understand them. I've heard it described this way before: our Angels are here to help us and do so happily and usually without thanks or recognition, they would be absolutely thrilled to hear us speak directly to them, to thank them and let them know that we know they're there. The more we invite our Angels into our lives and ask them for assistance, the more they can and will assist. I always make sure to thank God for sending His Angels to assist us and making sure we all get the best guidance possible so that we can best serve Him.

Love & Light,


Ahhhh.... Heaven! Does it really exist?

This is an age old question that many wonder about, for if there is a Heaven there must be a God. The Bible tells us that there is a Heaven, but what do we really know about it? Many people have had near death experiences and live to tell us about the glorious things / beings they saw, felt and spoke with. Personally I have known someone that has more insight than most... some may say I'm crazy or that she is, but when we think about it, really think about it, who's to say what's possible or not? The Bible gives several references to Angels visiting people and most of the time the person was unaware they were in fact Angels until they vanished into thin air. Some people believe in Aliens, and there too has been information supporting these facts, so why would I or 'she' be the crazy ones when history has long shown many things to be true, including and especially Angels? It's not us that are crazy if you ask me, it's those that still do not believe things outside of their imagination or their personal reality and lives are possible. There have been many times too, that people have escaped death defying moments only to claim there must have been an Angel looking out for them for they too do not know how they survived except by a sheer miracle.

So, does Heaven really exist? Of course it does! As does the Almighty God... What I have learned about Heaven from my friend, is that there is one, yes. Just because you or I have yet to see it (or remember it) does not mean it doesn't exist. What I have learned is that in Heaven, we are able to create anything we want. If you want a giant mansion, all you have to do is picture it the way you want it and poof there's your mansion! If you decide you don't like it, you can imagine it gone and start over. There is no need to eat in Heaven, however if you decide you'd like to, you can. Everyone in Heaven also has jobs to do, and everyone does whatever it is they truly enjoy. My Mom had a dream a few years ago about my Dad, he came to visit her as she has had a hard time dealing with the loss of her husband of 30+ years. When he came to her, he told her not to worry about him, that he's very happy and he's a gardener! Now here on earth he was a painter but in Heaven he's a gardener in charge of a beautiful greenhouse where he's growing many rare and exotic flowers and trees. Yes, it was 'just a dream' you may say, but to Mom and I, it was a direct message from him, showing her that there is a Heaven, he's happy and waiting for her. In the meantime, he's doing something he loves and is looking forward to sharing it with her.

It's been said many times by many people all around the world from different walks of life that they too have been visited by family members sharing similar experiences of happiness and waiting for them. Many people that have had Near Death Experiences also say that they saw a tunnel and in that tunnel was their family and friends, waiting for them, waiting to greet them or turning them back and telling them it's not their time yet but that they'll be there for them when it is and when they get 'home' they're going to have a huge party to celebrate their return. I've heard it said that the party lasts for what here would be measured as days.

I have also learned that there are different levels in Heaven, each wonderful and magical in it's own right. Our time here on earth and how we advance spiritually dictates which level we will advance to when we arrive home. Time is not measured the same here as it is in Heaven, a month here is but a moment there so we each choose to come back to earth to live again so that we may advance spiritually in Heaven, working our way to the top as many of the Ascended Masters have such as Gandhi, Mary Mother of God, Mother Teresa, Buddha and many more. What I have learned in reading some of their works, deeds and quotes of things they have said is that they had it figured out... they knew that the key to the Highest Gates of Heaven is to Love one another. Not for fame, glory, wealth, or other materialistic items, no it's pure Love of each and every person here on earth that gets us there. It's not dwelling on our woe full pasts, the wrongs that have been done to us nor the pain that others may have caused us or the misdealing's we face, those things are meant to empower us and help us rise up above them and truly Love someone and forgive them regardless of what they have said or done that caused us pain. We are not meant to wish for ill will on others, lie, cheat, steal, kill or rape the innocent. We are meant to help one another, forgive ourselves and others for what they have done and move forward, spreading the Love so that it will not only help us get to Heaven, but help others too. For when we share Love and kindness it spreads, just as negativity and fear spread so does Love. We are here to learn from our experiences to be strong, look at our fears head on and move right through them to the Love that awaits us all.

In regards to fears, my Mom has been afraid of so many things I cannot list them all. She hasn't 'driven' on a freeway in over 20 years out of fear of getting in an accident. When she drives down the street she only goes about 15 miles per hour when the speed limit is 35 or she'll drive 20 when the speed limit is 45, out of fear. Me on the other hand do many things that she is in shock over. I like to drive long distances, taking road trips alone across several states, driving with the windows down and the wind in my hair of course. I go camping alone when I feel the need to get out and enjoy nature, with no fear of anything. Mom says I'm brave, but I don't think it's bravery I think it's just me not choosing to live my life in fear and knowing that God will protect me. I always tell her, "When it's my time, it's my time and in the meantime I'm going to enjoy my life!" One of my favorite things to do is take my dogs for long drives to the mountains and go hiking in the desert or near the lake. If we lived near the ocean I'd be there more often than not, as I was when I was a teen. Enjoying nature is by far one of my favorite things in life. It's when I feel most connected to God and feel as though the most beautiful scenes in nature are a glimpse of what Heaven will be like. I've been told it's even more breathtaking than anything here on earth... 

I also learned that whether we believe in God or not, we all return to God and will once again return to Heaven. (I'll write about those worshipping false idols, Fallen Angels and Lucifer another time.)  As far as coming back, it will depend on what we did with our time here on earth. If someone is a 'horrible' person, showing no remorse for the pain they cause others, then they are destined to repeat their lives here on earth until they get it 'right' or make amends with the souls they have hurt. This is where our Karma comes into play... I heard a story that a woman caused great pain and suffering (and even death) to someone that was her friend and in their next lives the roles were changed. The woman that caused the pain (with no remorse) became the mother of the girl she hurt and that girl had autism, teaching the mother to love and care for her child regardless of her disability, for her entire life. I read a book about reincarnation and people that had been hypnotised to help them in their current life and a movie was even made about one of them. A woman and a man continued to be each others' lives, her loving him even though her gut instinct told her to stay far away from him each and every time. In every life he wound up killing her in the most brutal ways. Sometimes the situations in our lives replay so that we may learn a lesson, whatever that lesson may be. In their case, in my personal opinion it would be that she needed to learn to trust and listen to her instincts and he was being given a chance to do the right thing and not kill her. Each time they both failed and wound up repeating it over and over again until she finally fell in love with another man who saved her from being killed.
In essence, yes Heaven exists and it is our job to get ourselves there and not have to come back! If we continue to make the wrong choices and cause ourselves and / or others harm and don't learn to Love one another regardless of color, religion, male or female, animals, nature and all, then we are destined to keep coming back and facing hardship after hardship until we wake up and learn. Now some people may say they have a great life and the hardships they've faced weren't all that bad... but are you loving everyone and not being materialistic or judgmental? In essence, what I'm getting at is that everyone has their lesson to learn here on earth regardless if you feel your life is perfect.

I know a man that was born into wealth, and not just a few million, we're talking near billions. From what I know, he doesn't volunteer his time to help others, he doesn't donate money to help feed the hungry or help disadvantaged children; he doesn't even feel sorry for those less advantaged. The only good deed I know of that he does, which quite frankly isn't that good if you think about it, is he redecorates his several houses every year or when it suits his fancy and what he decides he doesn't want he donates. In the meantime, he's very materialistic, snobbish and looks down on others who aren't successful (financially) in his eyes and he basically 'throws' money away... while others in the world are starving, homeless and more. Now I'm not saying that one man can change the world by donating a couple million, but if one man did that and encouraged his other wealthy friends to do the same, together they could make an amazing difference in many, many lives.

I am not trying to be judgmental here, I'm simply stating facts as I've seen and heard them to help others learn from their mistakes in an attempt to 'open eyes' so to speak. To each and everyone who may happen to read this, I say this: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Put yourself in other people's shoes and think about the needs of others and what you can possibly do to help them. In doing so, you will also help yourself, for what goes around comes around and someday whether it is in this lifetime or the next, you may find yourself in need in someway and the good you do will come back to you. What is it that I'm doing you ask? Well I too have learned that although I don't have much money, I am able to help by volunteering my time, by writing to the best of my ability to help others learn from not only my mistakes but others as well. It's not as much as I want to do, but it's what I'm able to do at the moment. There are many things I plan on doing, but this isn't about me, it's about helping others realize that there is such a thing as Heaven and how it is we'll get there.

Before closing, I would like to share another story, in the words of Mother Teresa:
"I once picked up a woman from a garbage dump and she was burning with fever; she was in her last days and her only lament was: ‘My son did this to me.’ I begged her: You must forgive your son. In a moment of madness, when he was not himself, he did a thing he regrets. Be a mother to him, forgive him. It took me a long time to make her say: ‘I forgive my son.’ Just before she died in my arms, she was able to say that with a real forgiveness. She was not concerned that she was dying. The breaking of the heart was that her son did not want her. This is something you and I can understand."

Love & Light,