Sunday, September 30, 2012

What's the 411 on Magic, Sorcery, Witch craft and black magic??? Is it real??

I have learned that every idea, every invention and inspirational thoughts we have are actually remembered events that have happened in the past and were already created in Heaven... that they actually come from God (and our higher selves) and are remembered from our time in Lemuria and Atlantis. When the Angels fell from Heaven, the fallen angels actually taught many things that were never known to man and some things we were not supposed to do, such as merging the cells of animals and man to create such beasts as the mythical creatures that we only thought existed in fairy tales such as those that are half man and half horse. Those creatures were actually one of the reasons that God destroyed Lemuria and Atlantis, because those creatures were against God's will.  

Many, many centuries ago most of us actually (if not all) had the abilities to manifest, heal, levitate, and much more such as moving objects with our minds and bending objects to our will. It was actually something that did not seem like such a 'crazy' or 'out there' thing to be able to do as most people had these abilities. How do you think the pyramids were made? Some say by aliens, but in reality we had abilities that nowadays seem impossible to most people and seem unable to grasp that it could be true.
If you've ever seen the movie The Secret, then that may help you to understand that over the decades, many of our natural born talents have been 'drummed' out of our minds and scope of reality... if you ask me it's mostly because the fallen angels and corrupted ones don't want us to have such an 'easy' life, they want to keep us in the dark, keep us believing life is supposed to be so hard and that we basically have to 'work' for everything we want and sometimes still not be able to obtain our hearts desires. When in reality, we are supposed to be able to see Angels (with the use of our 3rd eye), we're supposed to be able to manifest most of what we really want and we're not supposed to live our lives with diseases, we're supposed to be able to heal ourselves and as it states in the Bible, live for hundreds of years!!
Why would the fallen and corrupt ones want us to live life in the dark, you ask? In my opinion it's because they want us to turn from God, to make deals with the devil in order to have what we want and may lead some to believe that if we want to live a life filled with greatness, we must either make a deal or work ourselves to death in an honest attempt to get the necessities, let alone our biggest dreams come true. They want us to be in fear and be able to be controlled by our government, if we realized how very powerful we really are, they would be nearly powerless over us.
Ever wonder why it says in the Bible 'trust in the Lord and He will provide all that we need...' When we open ourselves to God, REALLY open up to Him and ask for our abilities to be able to achieve our goals, we will start to see ourselves as an extension of Him, as a part of Him. It says in the Bible that He created us in His image, hence we are also granted with amazing powers to be able to do amazing things. Now if in your heart you are only reaching out to Him for materialistic reasons or because of your ego, and not necessarily to do His work, then you won't be surprised to notice very little difference in your life. But if you want to serve God and do His will, use your God given talents to do good things to help others, then you will be blessed.
Those who are trying their hand at witch craft & / or black magic, may be able to make amazing things happen, but it is the power of our minds that are creating things, not the act of magic or some unseen force. Many may disagree, however if you understand that our minds are very powerful and we have the ability to make things happen by our intentions, then one really would understand that a spell is just a tool to make your intentions clear. A prayer can actually work the same as a spell, but without the need of a bunch of ingredients or tools. By simply wanting something with all your might, you can create. God gave us the ability to manifest and create, therefore the true power behind any spell is us, you or me. Hence the expression 'be careful what you wish for' which is as old as time itself, because it's true... what you focus on with great energy is created.
To clarify, let's say you want to have the ability to heal but don't believe in God... I've met some people that want to heal their spouse or a family member but don't know where to begin. Maybe it's in their blueprint that they are to be able to heal but not yet believe in God. If you ask me, then the sheer act of being able to heal becoming true for them, may actually lead them to believe in God and open themselves up to the path He has created for them. Or maybe they can't heal and by wanting to be able to heal someone so much, they may finally break down and pray and open themselves up to God and by doing so, may be shown that the only way to truly heal a person is by asking God to use them as a vessel in order that God may heal them...
Let's say you want to be able to levitate, maybe you don't realize it's possible but want to try (it is possible though!) In meditating and focusing, let's say you levitate... would that not lead you to realize that there is something greater than us in the universe and help you to realize that God exists and is real? Or maybe by levitating you realize that you have an amazing mind that must have come from God, otherwise how would you be able to levitate? It was said by many nuns that when Mother Teresa used to pray, she levitated really high and the nuns would have to 'stand-by' to pull her back down. Is that magic or simply her divine connection to God that made her levitate? If you ask me, it's because she was so close to God and prayed so hard, that she became light as a feather... and was literally 'close to God.'
Have you ever wished anything bad to happen to someone, and it did? I've seen others be so mean to people and wish bad things on others, that Karma bit them in the hiny so hard that their lives were completely turned upside down. So as far as black magic goes or the evil committed by fallen angels and corrupt ones, we don't need to wish bad on others for all will come back to them, in due time. If you wish bad on someone because they did something bad to you, whether in this lifetime or in others gone by, be careful because it will not only cancel out the Karma they would have faced but it will actually cause more harm to you, for wishing bad on them. Black magic is a very dangerous thing if you ask me, for everything we do comes back to us ten-fold... it's better to forgive and forget than to harbor any ill will.

I have heard that when the end of the world does come, the times of Armageddon and Revelations that the government will be imprisoning us and those that are not captured will not have access to any food or hospitals... that there will be some people here on earth that will remain simply to help others by manifesting food as God did in the Bible (with one fish he fed an entire village). And some will be healers, able to heal the wounded. Some will be here to help others find God and be saved, some will help protect us and lead the way to safety, to Heaven. It has also been noted all over the Internet that many are coming into their powers during these last few years and the ones to come... many are awakening to their divine birth right and realizing that they were given powers to heal, manifest and more. Why else would these things be happening if not to fulfill these prophecies, that someday we will need healers that can heal with the power of their minds?
Call it Sorcery, magic or witch craft, but I call it powers from the divine... from God. These blessings are being given to many because some day, we will need them. Many are not coming forward or letting others know about their talents for fear of what could happen to them, but there are many that have had these abilities and many more that are just now realizing they have them. We have a higher purpose than we may realize now, but thank God people are waking up and acknowledging their talents, practicing and honing their skills; for it is these very people that may help save our lives some day in the not so distant future.
My best advice to those who want to learn more, who want to do more and want to 'wake up' to their talents and powers, is to pray... pray some more and meditate. In meditation we open ourselves up to hear, see and understand. In prayer we connect with God and our Angels and are given clear instructions on what it is we must do in order to receive our gifts from above. Another great thing to do, is to meditate on our chakras... center them, align them and cleanse them so that when your powers do start to grow, you are better able to accept them, to understand them and control them. I don't recommend black magic or otherwise, for that is just a long journey not leading to anywhere with real meaning and can get you into trouble with the universe... when you pray and meditate you cut through the riff-raff and get right to the nitty-gritty. Through prayer and meditation you open yourself up to God and to being able to understand your true purpose on earth... when you pray and ask God to show you things, you will either have a vision immediately or he'll come to you in your dreams and show you the answer to what it is you asked. I recommend asking Him to make it simple enough for you to clearly understand, otherwise you may get some cryptic message that takes time to decipher!

Good luck & God Bless!!
Love & Light,

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

We're only human... we all make mistakes!

In this classroom of life, I have found that we never stop learning, unless we refuse to! From communication problems causing problems where none should have existed to thinking you're doing the right thing when really it turns out to be the complete wrong thing, I'd have to say NEVER stop learning from your mistakes!
We're all human and God knows we're not perfect and it seems no matter how hard we may try, we always make mistakes! I've found that when we don't think before we act, are some of the times we've made the biggest mistakes. We hurt those we love the most when we least expect it and learn again the hard way, to think before we act. Sometimes we may spend months thinking about our choice in a matter only to realize it turned out to still be a mistake, even though we took so much time pondering it!
I don't know if there is any secret formula for making the right choices but I believe as long as we accept that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, life can be a little easier to understand. We may not know why we made the wrong choice but as long as we learn something from it, was it really wrong? Could we have avoided it, or was it inevitable or imperative that we made the mistake so that we may learn? There are many questions I have regarding this subject and until it becomes obvious as to 'why' I or we did something that seemed stupid, hurtful, selfish or down right degrading... in the meantime all we can do is 'accept that we're human' and try to learn from it. Apologize when we're wrong, try not to make excuses (in making excuses we might miss the lesson!) and forgive ourselves and others, for we are only human after all. We'll always be perfectly imperfect and flawed... the best we can do is try our best and accept responsibility for our mistakes.
Love & Light,

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Ghosts??? Seriously??? You really think they're real??? ;)

Most people have seen the show 'Ghost Whisperer' or may have heard of it... for those who haven't, the show is based on a woman who has been seeing ghosts since she was a little girl, they've just always been visible to her the same as we see 'regular' people. She helps them with their unfinished business and helps them move on, into the light.

For some people who have never seen a ghost find this just a sci-fi show that doesn't happen in real life... however there is a very large number of people all around the world who have witnessed first hand the truth, that ghosts do exist and they're very real. Most people will see ghosts as a child but not realize what it is they're seeing, very similar to when we see angel's but because of parents or other adults who don't believe, they tell them 'they're not real' or 'it's just a glare from the tv' and so kids will believe and accept that as truth (they trust the adults in their lives) and because of being told they're not real, will no longer 'see' them. By choosing to believe they aren't real, one is actually closing their 3rd eye and may never see a ghost or angel again and later in life may wind up thinking others who can see them are nuts!  

The fact of the matter is, ghosts are very real and they're actually all around us. Now again, I must say that I'm no expert on the subject, however I have had more than a handful of encounters with ghosts, enough to know that they're REAL!!!! ;) Since I was a kid, I've been able to see ghosts however more recently I decided I no longer wanted to and decided that if I'm going to see anything from the 'other' side, I'd prefer to see angel's. Yes, you can actually make the decision and make it a reality (as I've stated previously our minds are very powerful.)

There are at least a few reasons that ghosts are around and a few things that happen while they're here... first off would be that they have unfinished business. Sometimes they're just worried about their loved ones and think that if they cross over that their family will suffer. This is where saying your final good bye is very helpful to helping them move on. If after they pass you have a conversation with them, as if they're still near you; whether you see them or not chances are they'll hear you because you have a strong connection to them... I've heard it said that when you feel deeply for someone they live on in your heart, well that's true.

Basically what happens if you find yourself unable to accept the fact they're gone, continue to cry and mourn over the loss, you are in essence holding them back from moving on. During your conversation with them, what's best in my opinion is to tell them you love them, how you'll miss them but that you'll be ok and want them to go to Heaven. You can tell them you want them to visit you, watch over you, but that they must move on and you'll be alright. You must then muster up the strength to have the conviction in your words to let them know you mean it.... you will be ok. You'll miss them, but will see them soon. This usually works best for loved ones, for the most part, they want to move on but they love you so much they don't want to leave you for fear of your pain and suffering, they'll wonder if you'll recover, and if you'll really be ok. In encouraging them to move on and that you'll be ok, you give them the strength and the 'ok' to go into Heaven... If you continue to cry, continue to 'hold onto them' with your pain and grief, you actually make them sad, make them worry even more and if you're not careful, they'll stay.

I'm not saying don't cry, or don't grieve, for that's a natural part of the healing process and we need to do those things in order to help ourselves heal... what I am saying is to realize that trying to keep them here, is actually a selfish thing that we should not do. Trying to hold onto someone who has passed can actually cause the grieving process to be prolonged, can cause more pain, and more grief than is necessary. The sooner you let them know it's ok for them to go into the light and that you'll see them soon, the sooner you can begin to realize that they're not ever really gone, they're just out of sight. You can always talk to them, even though they're in Heaven...

Another thing that I've learned that can happen to a person's spirit when they pass is that they can get stuck; they don't realize they're dead. They can get attached to people, follow them around and then may actually get 'left' somewhere because they're distracted. In instances such as this, it's best to let them know they're not alive anymore (in as gentle a way as possible) that you're sorry they've passed but that Heaven is a wonderful place and that their family is in the light and that they should go into it. If you feel that hasn't worked, the best thing to do is pray and ask God to help them move on. He will...

I've also heard of ghosts that stay with a family member, thinking they are helping them, when really they can cause more harm than good. Their fears can become your fears, their medical condition they had before they passed can actually become your medical condition... because their energy is so strong and can have an impact on your energy. Have you ever been around someone who for some reason their stress became your stress? It's very similar when someone has passed on but decided that they think it's in your best interest to stay with you... maybe you like them being around and feel you need the guidance, but quite frankly you'd be better off taking the advice of an angel since their advice comes directly from God. It's best to ask them to move on and live your life, make your own decisions and learn to be on your own... it's very similar to a mom who won't let their child out of their sight, how would you feel having your mom go to school with you from kindergarten through high school and telling you what to do every step of the way? I don't think anyone would like that, so why would you want your aunt, mom, dad or grandparents with you every step of the way, influencing every decision you encounter in life?

Then there are some ghosts that are angry and seem to reek havoc in homes, causing lights to go off and on, flicker or blow out light bulbs! Slamming doors and breaking things, to either scare you or get your attention... with those ghosts, I recommend some serious prayers! There's also another step you can take and may sound a bit extreme but it works. You start out by putting a circle of salt around the entire perimeter of your home, outside. You then go to the inside... placing a line of salt on every window sill, and in front of every door; all the while praying to God to seal your home and push out any unwanted spirits... you then picture in your mind that your roof has an opening in it and the ghosts goes up and out. Prayer, prayer, prayer!!!

Another good way to get an unwanted spirit out of the house is to start at the front door, bible in hand and pray... work your way from the front of the house, into every room and eventually out the back door, all the while praying that God will bless the home and that unwanted spirits are to be removed... once reaching the back door, you are to walk outside, pray some more and brush yourself off from top to bottom; you use your hands to 'brush' off the spirit(s) as they will become attached to you and your brushing them off removes them. I know this sounds a bit 'out there' to some, however it is a very old Hawaiian custom that has been passed down for many generations and I've personally seen it work.  

Heaven is a marvelous place and one month on earth is like a blink of the eye in Heaven. If you're sad or grieving over the loss of a loved one, please know that you'll see them again. If you don't 'believe' in ghosts, God or Angels, then I don't know what I can say to help you realize they're all real...

I've met people before that didn't believe and they thought that when we die we simply disappear and go into nothingness... if you ask me that's a very sad way to think and live. To think, we did all this for nothing? That every precious moment we spend on earth, every beautiful thing such as the trees, grass, mountains, sun, moon, butterflies, dragonflies, rainbows, sunsets and moon rises, are all for not? That music will not live on, that the love we feel for others and the creatures of the earth, is all for nothing? I have to disagree, because I've witnessed far too much to think that there's nothing after this... I know too many people that agree with my blogs, that have 'seen' things their entire lives and know what I say is true... life is wonderful, for a reason. Earth is a reflection of Heaven, (the good stuff!) and Heaven is even better than we can imagine. So when the piper comes callin' say your prayers and ask for forgiveness and know that your place is in Heaven, when it's all said and done. If hearing my ghost stories will help you understand better or to believe, leave a comment and I'll share some... otherwise, you'll have to wait for me to finish my book and read about them there!! :)

Love & Light,


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Who needs the Internet anyway? :)

Before the day of computers and the Internet, in school we used to have pen-pals! We had no idea who we were writing to, except for a name and where they lived. Our teachers encouraged us to write to these 'unknown' friends in other countries and told us it was good to make friends around the world. But if you changed schools, you lost your pen-pal forever...

When Myspace made it's big debut, everyone was free to add anyone and everyone they stumbled on, (whether they approved you or not was in their hands) whether you found them because you had things in common with them, mutual friends or because they liked a band; we were free to chat with celebrities and musicians or at least leave a little message letting them know how we admire their work.

We started opening up communication between people around the globe, becoming friends with some people we would have never met otherwise; but found out through it all, we may have really found a 'friend' we could admire and trust. I have a good friend that met her now husband on Myspace and they are madly in love, years later. They now have their first child and are in pure bliss.

Then came facebook, where the information was limited and so are your 'add' options. Sure, you can request someone to become your friend, but if they deny you facebook wants to know why... God forbid they happen to click that they don't know you because then your account gets suspended from being able to add friends because 'they' heard you've been going around sending random requests to people you don't know! Heaven forbid you should make a new friend!!! In spite of their demanding 'we' don't add people we don't personally know, many have continued to accept friend requests based solely on gut instincts, mutual friendships or what have you.

In the meantime, here comes twitter... as impersonal as a message can get in 140 characters or less! The hype is big on twitter however because 'we' are free to say what we want, whether anyone is listening or not! We're free to 'follow' whomever we choose and low and behold, celebs actually reply back sometimes! A barrier broken!! In the past, you'd search high and low in teen mags to try and find the 'fan' mail address to your favorite band just to say 'hey I really like your music' and know deep down that they'd never see your message... and maybe never know how their music impacted your life.

In spite of it all, 'we' have found our way to another level of communicating with people all around world. The old fashioned 'pen-pal' has evolved to a whole other level, much to my delight. Through Google+, youtube, facebook, Myspace, twitter, and amongst countless blogs and websites that 'allow' us to comment on articles and news reports; our voices are now being heard, our opinions are making the news and now, WE are the news!

Let's not forget about the infamous dating sites... some have brought many couples together that chances are would have never found each other without the Internet. I can only imagine how many happily married couples would still be single if it were not for our beloved Internet. Christian Mingle has many couples featured on their facebook page, showing that their site works in bringing the singles together and helping create marriages based on a mutual love for Christ, mutual interests and more. Other dating sites claim the same, however I have not seen near as many couples brought together as on Christian Mingle. Maybe their numbers are there, but it's not as widely known if you ask me. Maybe it's because some sites are for people just looking for a date, whereas most on Chrisitan Mingle are looking for their soul mate, to marry.

Now I've heard that the good ol' government is trying to limit our Internet use, stop us from communicating and stop the new friendships we have so lovingly formed. I have friends in Russia, India, Australia, China, Singapore, Bhutan and many more countries and countless states across the US thanks to the Internet. Of course I could live without those friends, but why in the world would I ever want to? Friends are priceless! A good friend, is someone you can be yourself with, open up to and share your desires and fears with... someone who will encourage you, comfort you, brighten your day and sometimes may even save your life. I have friends all around the world that share in the message of peace, love, unity and a love for God. I have a friend / acquaintance that I made online playing a video game, he's about 15 years old and lives in Iraq... he told me that when he goes to school he has to be very careful because explosions are going off all around and one time they hit his school causing him to have severe burns on his arms. He's praying that he'll live long enough to move to the US so that he doesn't have to live like that anymore. I prayed for him too...
Then there's the advertising that small businesses were never able to afford until they were afforded the option of placing pay per click ads on Google and other sites. Had it not been for the online business, some may have never made it past their first year! Online ads are easy, affordable and help a business to be seen by their target audience, no matter where in the world it may be.

I have a good friend that I feel I was meant to be friends with and he feels the same. He's a Buddhist Monk who lives in Bhutan! I love to meditate, pray and do yoga and have often considered heading to some far off place to study and train to become more enlightened... thanks to our finding each other online, I don't have to venture alone. He's building a new temple and I'm planning a visit soon, so that I too can pray and meditate in some of the oldest temples in the world. I'm also very proud and honored that I'm contributing to the financial costs involved in the building of the temple. Our dollar may be considered weak here, but there $100 is equivalent to about $7,000 in the US! How many times in our lives can we say we helped build a Buddhist monastery temple that will help thousands of people? Or that we helped feed hundreds of people by donating a mere $20 a month?

Also online, I found a non-profit organization that can purchase an acre of the rain forest for a mere donation of $15 per acre! And not only do they purchase it, they protect it FOREVER. I've signed petitions against our rain forests being demolished and entire villages being deemed homeless because of a big corporation building a solar panel factory... Does that make any sense at all? We have thousands upon thousands of acres of wide open space in the DESERT, with sunshine beaming all day long... why on earth would you want to hurt mother nature and destroy the forest to create energy? Maybe to some people it makes sense, but to me it's senseless destruction of the very resources that are helping our planet live. Thanks to the Internet however, I was able to do my part and 'sign' the petition to help the villagers and the rain forest.  

So, in essence, I guess the main point of my highlighting so many things that the Internet has managed to do 'for us' is to bring attention to just a few of the joys and delight that the Internet has achieved. Thanks to the Internet people have found their soul mates, their wives, husbands, adopted pets, made donations to help feed the hungry and homeless, make friends around the world and have someone to visit when we go on vacation to a foreign land.

I mean, can you imagine trying to go on vacation to a remote land where almost no one speaks English? I've seen the movies, the 'digital translators' and books don't help much! I also have great new friends in Australia that I plan on visiting, to enjoy the beautiful beaches, go hiking in a forest filled with trees and purple flowers for ground cover... (see pic above!) without making those friends, I'd probably never make it to Australia or Bhutan! Let alone would I even have the desire to go? Without the personal information that only a native can relay, how would I have ever known it was soooo beautiful or worth the trip? Sure, some may say 'go to a travel agent' or Google it, but in this case, I'd rather go straight to someone who KNOWS! Besides, the last travel agent I had, booked me a trip to Kauai and then she moved... when it came time to take my trip, my flight had been cancelled and I had to re-book everything on my own anyway! Nothing against travel agents, but honestly, had I known that was going to happen, I would've just booked it on my own to begin with!

Those who want to adopt are able to research the criteria needed, find countless resources and support groups as well as browse children available for adoption! They're able to read a little bit about them and see if the child might be a fit for their growing family.

With the Internet, our ability to locate the truth of what's going on in the world has greatly expanded. The idea of writing some random pen-pal stranger in China or Egypt is no longer a guessing game! We can see their pictures, see who their friends are and their likes and dislikes... and with the power of IM or email, we're able to chat instantly, no waiting for weeks upon weeks with no idea if they even got our letter.

I know there are those that are saying 'yeah but... you don't know if that's really them or if they're lying to you' to those people I say, you need to get your instincts in check and do some praying and meditating! IF you pray and meditate (check some of my other blogs, please!) you actually can have the ability to 'see' your friend, in real time. IF you do it often enough and enhance your abilities you could actually see what someone is doing at almost any given moment and even ask them 'are you wearing a blue shirt?' or 'is your desk a mess, a bunch of books and papers all over it' only to have them reply 'yes, how did you know?' It works, believe me... I've done it many times! It's a gift we all have, it's just a matter of using it. Also, for those that say they believe in God, then you should know that God would not put you in any situation that you aren't meant to be in... 'yeah but' NO buts! If you believe, then you should not doubt! One ounce of doubt can land you right in the hands of your biggest nightmare. Have faith and trust in God and He won't steer you wrong.

For those unaware of what I'm referring to when I say the gov is trying to take away our Internet, do some research and get involved... unless you don't like having all this information at your fingertips? :) The media is controlled by those we call the 'elite' and their biggest desire is to keep us in the dark, keep us in fear of the 'unknown' and in fear of those in other countries... to keep us separated and keep us from knowing that deep down, most of us all want the same thing, to be loved, to have peace in the world and share in the knowing-ness that we are all the same...

Love & Light,


*If you are able to make any donations, large or small, the Monastery in Bhutan is in great need! Please visit: Lhodrak Kharchu Monastery for details and information about how your help is appreciated and greatly needed!!!
Link to donations page: Donation Methods - Lhodrak Kharchu Monastery
Thank you & God Bless!!!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Manifesting and our 'blueprints / contracts' ~ the how's and why's we get what we want

There have been many books and DVD's published on the subject of manifesting and how to get what we really want in our lives but often one may find that no matter how good they are at manifesting and creating what they want, there are still some things that seem unattainable.

Before we are born and come to earth we create what is called a blueprint or contract. We get together with other spirit's who agree to do certain things in our lives or play specific roles so that we may learn whatever it is that we decide we want to go through, in our quest for soul advancement. Now while some things are more concrete there are some things we decide such as if we choose to take an alternate path, what we may encounter can change. Say for instance you are given the circumstance to turn left or right, what the outcome will be may alter the path you take, so we plan out what we will encounter should we decide to turn left. We also plan out the pains that we will face and the people that will help aide us to suffer. I know that's pretty deep, saying "I want to suffer in such and such way so that I can experience such and such; in doing so my soul will evolve in such a way" which plainly put means that we choose the specifics of our lives, including the abuse, the neglect, the sufferings in which we face that sometimes seem unbearable.

Why would we do this? Why would we choose to suffer? All souls or spirits must go through various experiences in order to advance spiritually, some may choose an easier path, not really concerned with advancing yet more concerned for simply enjoying life and having nearly everything they want (maybe in their past lives they suffered and advanced so much that this time around they decided to enjoy life more and take a break!) Some may choose to come into the world having a well-to-do family so that they don't have to struggle financially but maybe they have other struggles such as finding true love or facing illnesses or disappointment in their family because of lack of compassion or remorse for hurting others. These too are learning lessons for us, to learn to love those despite their lack of morals or values. Others may choose to come into the world rich in one life and poor in another, learning the differences of the pains and struggles of each for further advancement. Maybe in a few lives you were uber rich and learned that wealth isn't everything and decided to come into your next life insanely poor so that you could experience life on the other end of the spectrum and in that adversity learned to create your own wealth by your own means. Or maybe you decided that no matter what, you'd always be poor and struggle as that too is a learning lesson. Maybe by being amongst the poor you had to overcome a hatred towards the rich or a deep compassion for those who need help and a love for the simple things in life, or all of the above.

Either way, we have choices to make before we come to earth and while we are here. Not every detail is planned out as we leave things to our free will, yet we may choose the important things in order to have a full and deeper meaningful soul advancement. If you believe in God and speak often of the benefits of having Jesus in our lives, have you ever met someone that no matter what you said seemed to reject all that you had to say? Speaking until you're blue in the face and the person not budge on their stance? The main reason for this is because it is not their time, it's not part of their blueprint. They have pre-written that they will not accept it until such and such time, even if Jesus Himself appeared to that person, they simply won't budge... because it is not their time and nothing anyone says or does will change that until it is meant to be.

In viewing this idea of a blueprint, does it not make perfect sense then that sometimes we simply cannot manifest the things we may sometimes try with all our might to manifest? Because maybe it just wasn't in our blue print to happen that way? Take for instance someone who has struggled financially their entire lives and they come across the information and all of the tools necessary to be able to manifest anything their hearts desire... now lets say that person masters the art of manifesting on various levels but for some reason they just can't hit the lotto or mega bucks... one could easily understand the reason for this by understanding that maybe it just wasn't written in their blueprint to happen this way. There is always a deeper reason behind things that we can't seem to grasp or create and we must understand that sometimes it's just not meant to happen in the way we think it will.

In creating our blueprints for this life, it is even more complicated than us just sitting down and deciding for ourselves what we want to experience. We must consult with others and make individual agreements with each and every soul and plan out the when's and where's things are to take place. Once all of our agreements are made we go before the Council (in Heaven) and they review the details of our plans. They may suggest changes or discuss that maybe what we have decided to go through is far more painful than what they believe we can handle and do their best to change our minds; maybe trying to convince us to not go through so much in just one life. We may argue our case and stand firm, stating "I can handle it and this is what I want so that I can advance more, faster" and then later while we're here wonder "what in the world was I thinking!?"

Have you ever met someone that you felt you knew before this time? That your meeting them was your destiny? That's part of the soul recognition that we decided we would feel so that when the time came, we would go through whatever experience it was we were meant to have with that particular person. Now maybe that person seemed like your soul mate at first, you feel so close that you feel "this is it!" only to later encounter abuse or torture in some way; wondering later "why in the world things seemed so right and turned out so wrong?" Think of it this way, did you not have to learn an enormous amount from that situation, learn to stand tall in spite of the struggles? Did you not have to learn to be strong, to rise above adversity, learn to forgive and more? Although some of the situations and people in our lives seemed like a horrible experience when we look back, was it not because of those same situations that helped us become the person we are today? Sometimes it's exactly what we needed to give us a 'push' in the direction we were meant to go... take for instance a young woman who has had a happy and carefree life and one day maybe she is raped or beat up by a boyfriend. Maybe after everything she has gone through in the struggles towards her recovery she becomes a therapist who helps hundreds of people in her practice and maybe later writing a book that helps thousands. One could easily understand that she was meant to experience that situation in order to get her set on the path to help others.

Let's take for instance the true story of the girl that they based the movie Soul Surfer on; she was living a wonderful life with a loving family and well on her way to making it big in the surfing world. One day while surfing a shark bites her arm off and through everything, she rises above it all and becomes an inspiration to countless men, women and children who were handicapped, helping them realize that they can still do almost anything they set their minds to and in some cases, helped them live a more fulfilling life. Had she not gone through everything she went through, who would have helped those with handicaps learn to rise above and still continue to dream? Maybe someone else would have agreed, but the point is that it was her... she made a sacrifice (a decision she made in advance) to help others.

Now I know some people reading this may think "well what's the point then, if everything is all planned out, why do I have to do anything at all?" In order to get from point A to point B we must act, we must move... we must face the encounters set out for us so that when we return to Heaven we have accomplished the things we set out to accomplish for advancement on the soul level. Do you think that Ghandi or Mother Teresa were just born into being enlightened and transcended? More than likely, no. They too encountered struggles and adversity, whether it was in the lives we know of or others, before they became who we know them to be.

In understanding that we each have a destiny to fulfill, life may become a little less confusing to us. When we look at the grand scheme of things in this way, it may help us understand that everything isn't as hard as we may think it is at the time we are facing struggles and that this too shall pass. In doing our best to manifest what it is we desire with every ounce of our being, we must continue to dream, to have faith and hope that if it is meant to be, it will be. There are times we may become inspired to manifest something, because we are meant to manifest it. Then there are times in our attempts at manifesting something that we may feel as though we are trying to make the impossible possible. There's a saying that goes "Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says I'm Possible" while I believe this to be true as well as "thoughts become things" and my favorite "To think is to create" we must also remember that if we have a desire to do something, we must act on it (unless it causes pain to others or is against our morals and values - I'm not saying go out and cheat on your spouse because you have an urge) what I'm saying is if you have a desire to manifest that someday you become something great, someone great, then go for it! The worst thing that can happen is that you try your hardest and learn from the experience. Maybe by trying to create one thing you suddenly become inspired to do something completely different and you become a success at that... whatever it is, if you are inspired to do it, then I say go for it! You may surprise yourself and manifest something amazing. You may make all your dreams come true and look back and think "Wow, I did it!" The point is that we must never accept defeat or failures as that, we must look at everything as a learning experience, an opportunity to become someone more loving, more compassionate, more understanding, more forgiving and / or an inspiration to others.

We may have written our blueprints in advance but the great part of it is that most of us don't know what our blueprints contain. Some may seek the advice of someone who can access your Akashic records, where they can view what it is you have pre-written, but you must be careful there. I have heard of some people that are able to access our records but aren't as good at it as they claim to be and sometimes make things up to appease us, while others are very good at it and may give us completely accurate information. In anything we encounter, whether it be Tarot cards or Akashic records, we must learn to use our instincts and best judgment, not hearing what it is we want but understanding when the truth is being told. We ourselves have the ability to view our own records, but it takes a great deal of meditation and prayer and can be learned. In order to read someone's Akashic records one must have our permission to do so otherwise they cannot access it, so have no fear of someone accessing your records as they can't do so unless you request it and grant your permission.

As far as manifesting, it really is not that complicated and we have been doing it long before we realized there was such a thing. In order to manifest, plain and simple we must focus on what it is we really want, believe it is ours and trust that it will come to us, without an ounce of doubt. We must have full faith that it is ours and meant to be ours... as Bob Proctor puts it: the moment we doubt it, may be the very moment it was coming into form and by doubting it we basically make it 'go away'. So again, be careful of what you focus on, for you just may get it. Personally, I leave it up to God. I let Him know what it is I want and believe that if I am meant to have it, it will happen in His time, not mine. I believe that if God has intended me to have something, if it is written in my blueprint, then it will be mine. In trying to manifest something that may not be in our blueprints, it can be quite frustrating and sometimes disappointing. In fact I believe that the key ingridient missing from all of the books and videos made on the subject is God. For how can we possibly manifest anything if God did not intend it to be so?

If our blueprints don't include us hitting the lotto or mega bucks or becoming rich and famous over night, then what are we doing? I believe that if it is a calling from deep within, something we have a burning desire for and feel that we are meant to have, then by all means, manifest to your hearts content... but if it's meant to be, do we really need to work so hard on manifesting it? I say no... if it's meant to be, it will be. If we're meant to manifest something, then it will come easily and we won't have to struggle trying to create something, it'll come when it's meant to as long as we keep working towards our dreams. In order to create anything, we must be active in making that dream a reality. We must take the necessary steps to achieve... if you continually try to manifest hitting the lotto, then wouldn't you need to buy a ticket? If you want to win a race, wouldn't you need to train and enter the race? Of course you would... if you dream of finding your soul mate, wouldn't you need to go out into the world and not sit on your couch day in and day out? Of course! So get out there and make your dreams a reality! Enjoy life and be kind to others... love, trust and have faith! We all have a purpose, a destiny to fulfill, so get out there and make it happen! Dream big and reach for the stars, you just may catch one!

Love & Light,


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Powers of Forgiveness... and the benefits of forgetting

I'm sure you've heard it said many times that it's best to forgive and forget, but so many wonder why? I'm going to do my best here to clear up some of the confusion that people face when it comes to forgiving...  Sometimes there are people that hurt us so badly we find ourselves feeling hatred towards them and maybe even wishing bad things would happen to them; or worse, we may actually hurt them in return in some way. I've heard of abusive fathers that somehow manipulate the system and take their children away from their loving mothers with no visitation rights allowed; leaving the mother worried, angry and traumatized over the loss of her children and feeling helpless and alone. I've heard stories and personally experienced some people that just seem 'out to get us' and basically try to ruin our lives in every way even though we may not have done anything to hurt or harm that person we ask ourselves "what did I ever do to them to make them hate me so much that they'd do 'such and such' to me?" There are many horror stories in the world of people hurting others and sometimes we play the part of the abuser, hurting others and living to regret the pain we caused (if 'we' have a conscious that is!) I once had a 'woman' I'd never met in my life, do so many horrible things towards me that I couldn't help but wonder, "does she know something about a past life that I had that I don't recall hurting her? Why else would she try and hurt me soooo bad?" I found myself constantly being tormented by her, in more ways than one can imagine (I won't go into detail about it here however.)

The point is, there are things that happen in our lives that may have caused us great pain and suffering and sometimes we may not even know where the source of their reason is coming from or what we did to bring this on ourselves. Many have led almost 'different' lives, as they say, we all have a past and sometimes our payback seems to catch up with us...
Whatever the reasons we experience pain and suffering brought on by another person, whether it's Karma or we just feel flat out victimized because we don't recall ever doing anything that would warrant such misery in return, the important thing is that we forgive and let go, forget about it. I used to say that I forgive everyone for everything they did, but I will never forget. In some ways this is a good thing, but in many others it's not so good... forgiveness is the first crucial step but to forget is something entirely different and sometimes even harder to do.   
First off, the most important reasons to forgive others (and ourselves) is because that holding onto hate, anger, resentment, grudges or whatever you want to call it, can actually cause major issues not only to our health but our 'healing' as well. Let's take cheating as an example. I have a friend that had a mom who was a great, loving person. She actually shined she seemed so bright and lovely. She married a man that was a travelling salesman (yes they still exist!) and he was a compulsive cheater. Whatever his reasons for cheating were, I don't know. He was such a compulsive cheater that there were brothel's he frequented and sometimes would lie and take trips out of state just so that he could go to the brothel. My friends' mom found herself increasingly miserable as she found out he was cheating, got an STD, and he began mentally abusing her and basically turned her world upside down. Now the smart thing would have obviously been to leave his sorry you know what, but she stayed for over 20 years. She had become 'comfortable' in her home, didn't work and therefore depended on him to take care of her.
He finally left her for another woman, a younger woman but not before she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Later, after she had one breast removed, then the other, during surgery a small 'piece' of cancer got into her blood stream and landed itself in her reproductive organs... they too had to be removed and by the age of about 50 she died in a hospice facility, still angry and miserable, leaving her daughter with no parents (her dad already passed on) and no one to help guide her and give her the kind of comfort having a loving parent provides.

You see one thing that's a proven fact is that cancer is a man made disease that is brought on by stress and anxiety. The way I see it is that forgiveness or lack there of is a huge reason for this. My friends' mom held so much anger and resentment for her husband that she thought of almost nothing else except for her disgust with him and how horrible of a man he 'turned' out to be. Her anger became a part of her and turned into cancer which if you ask me, she may have also been harboring anger towards herself as well, for staying in such an abusive relationship and allowing it to go on instead of making a clean break. She not only didn't forgive him, but she didn't forgive herself either, for making poor choices in her choosing him and choosing to stay with him.

Forgiving ourselves plays a huge part in our lives, not just shrugging it off and sweeping it under the carpet; no it's not as simple as that if you ask me. I believe that it's similar to confessing our sins, in order to obtain true forgiveness for ourselves whether we're confessing to God or trying to let go of something we ourselves did, we must first take a good, long, hard look at what it is we did. If we hurt someone and are truly sorry, we may find ourselves breaking down in tears, sobbing and feeling the pain as if we did it to ourselves. We may even feel the pain more than the person we did something to. There have been times that others 'shrugged' off something that I did and I found myself beating myself up over it, crying and feeling just awful. That's actually a good thing, because hopefully we learn not to do something like that again and realize that by hurting others we truly are hurting ourselves (in more ways than one.)

When we find ourselves making mistakes, or choices that changed our lives and had a major effect or consequence, we must learn to forgive ourselves and not beat ourselves up over it. I'm not saying to shrug it off and pretend we didn't do it, because deep down we'll continue to feel the pains of the 'wrong' choice we made. When I was younger I made a lot of money and thought I always would, I took it for granted and spent money as if I had millions in the bank and always would. Later, I found myself nearly homeless and broke and realized years later that I was beating myself up for it for so long that it was having an effect on my finances for over 10 years! If you disappoint yourself to the point that you're angry and bitter towards your choices, it does have a ripple effect and changes how you attract things into your life... forgive yourself, you're only human and we all make mistakes, especially when we're young.

What we put out, comes back to us... Karma or the butterfly effect, whatever you want to call it or believe in, everything we do comes back to us in one way or another. I've met people that say they don't believe in Karma and that nothing comes back to them and they continue to do mean things, thinking they'll never have to pay the piper. Well good news is that the Universe has a law of balance and all things come full circle. So whether you do great and marvelous things or horrible and mean things, whether in this life or the next, it will all come back. And it won't just come back, it'll come back TEN FOLD!!! 

I've also heard it said by many people that before we go to Heaven, there is an area we go to reflect on our life and 'watch' what we have done, the good and the bad. That everything we did here on Earth we will feel and experience... the pain we've caused others and the good things we did. It allows us the chance to fully understand what our actions and deeds caused in another person's life as well as ours. Let's say that you stole money from someone and went out shopping, blew the money and felt no remorse nor experienced any sort of Karma or payback. But what if the person you stole from wound up heading down a downward spiral and it ruined half their life because of the financial setback and the pain and suffering they endured as a result?

What if because of one thing you did to someone hurt them so much that they were never able to heal and recover? Would you really want that on your conscious or are you going to be one of 'those' people that reverse the blame and say it's their own fault for 'not getting over it'? What if because of the pain and suffering you cause that person, you come back in your next life as a dog that gets beat up, neglected and starved to death as a way of balancing your Karma? OK, so you don't "believe" in reincarnation... well WHAT IF it's real? What kind of paybacks would you have coming your way? Think about it, do you really want to learn the hard way and suffer in your next life? Is it really a wise choice to choose not to believe and have it bite you in the hiny later?
I know such a man... he doesn't believe in Karma or reincarnation and who knows if he even believes in God. He cheats on his wife with numerous women to the point that he even pays for their housing so that he can come and go as he pleases and have his way with them. He did crooked deals in the mortgage and real estate industry, ripped his employees off, partied like a rock star doing hard drugs and drinking and didn't go home to his faithful, loving wife until late at night almost every night and when he did he stumbled in drunk. He eventually lost his business as a result (two businesses actually) and shortly later he lost his house worth over a million dollars. He lost all of his money and is now going to prison for the fraud he committed. So for those that don't believe, you've got another thing coming, I'm sorry to say.

Back to the subject... forgiveness of others and ourselves not only plays a major role in our health and happiness now and in the future, it also can make for a happier life. When we hold onto things such as anger, grudges, fear, or resentment, they cause turmoil in our lives and sometimes consume us to the point that we forget who we really are. My friends mom used to be so loving and caring for others but later found it hard to show her concern and love because the anger became too much for her and she just couldn't seem to move past it. Sometimes a person is so miserable because they can't forgive that they resent others for being happy which in turn causes more misery for the person holding onto the anger.

Another reason that we must learn to forgive others is because it is not up to us to judge them or not forgive. Yes, it is up to God. Yes, He is the ultimate determining factor in forgiveness and He forgives all, if it asked for with a genuine heart and feeling remorse for the misdeed done. The way I see it, is if God can forgive someone, who am I not to?

None of us are greater than God and if He can forgive us for our sins, who are we to think that we shouldn't forgive others? Regardless of what anyone does to us, no matter how horribly painful the hurt they caused us or our loved ones, we must forgive them... not only for ourselves but for our future. For if we don't forgive others, how can we ask God to forgive us?

The main reason forgetting is a crucial next step in the forgiveness process is because of the law of attraction... now regardless if you believe in it or not, it exists and it happens. As in my previous post about Abuse, the law of attraction works in many ways in our lives. If we don't forget about something no matter how horrible the deed was, we will inevitably recreate it if we don't let it go and forget about it. I once read a prayer request on a website, the girl said she had been sexually harassed and assaulted at more than one job and it kept happening. First off, by saying 'it keeps happening' your words create your reality and by saying it in that way, you are basically 'putting it out there' that it continues to happen in your life.

If you put something out there like that, it will happen and continue to happen because you believe it and have passion behind it. Because the girl feels 'victimized' she gives the law of attraction even more power to create it as a reality in her life. If you 'feel' any certain way, for a period of time and with passion, it creates it even faster. So to feel victimized you are basically requesting it to happen again. I know it's not 'cool' at all but if you flip it to something positive it is... whatever you focus on, you create. If you focus on misery and turmoil, that's exactly what you'll get. If you focus on your fears of something, you create it even faster. We have the power to choose our thoughts and our feelings, so we must choose wisely. 

I used to say that I forgave others and later in conversation I would tell a 'story' to my best friend and she'd say I didn't forgive them because if I did, then I would forget about it. My response would be that I forgive everyone but I would never forget so as not to allow it to happen again. In analyzing this further I realize that she was right. Forgetting is not such an easy thing to do but in order to not recreate the situation, we must forget about it! Now that's not saying that we should continue being friends with someone that just flat out crossed the line, hurt us far too much or took advantage of us in a cruel way or stay in an abusive relationship, that's not it at all. There is such a thing as moving on and moving forward. If someone hurts us to the point that it's almost unforgivable (everything is forgivable) it doesn't mean that we shouldn't walk away! Forgive and forget for your own health and peace of mind.
If someone is hurting you, as in abusing you, then yes, get away. If you know that they are going to continue hurting you, move on! Get out and get away! You don't have to tell them you forgive them, that's not necessary. The forgiveness process is mostly for us, for you... not them. Our being mad at them isn't going to change their life (especially if they have no remorse) and getting even doesn't do anything except effect your future Karma. In order for us to live a healthy, happy life, we must forgive and forget, let go and move on. If you choose to keep someone in your life, that's your choice and we shouldn't just 'walk away' from everyone, I'm not saying that either. Use your best judgment or seek professional help. The main point is that you understand that forgiving and forgetting is for you to heal, be happy, healthier and live a longer, more fulfilling life. To err is human... to forgive is divine.

God Bless!

Love & Light,


Friday, April 13, 2012

Dating again... how soon is too soon?

I have heard many different opinions on how soon is too soon to date after a break up and they all vary... In my personal experiences I have found that some 'time off' is best after a break up and a friend of mine recommends at least 6 months. I've also heard it said that if you're still talking about 'them' or thinking about them, then it's too soon!

I once heard in a movie that a good rule of thumb is a week for every month that you were together or a month for every year. So if you were say married for 3 years, then you should wait at least 3 months but if you were dating for say 6 months, then at least 6 weeks before you decide to get back out there. I would say much longer if for some reason the relationship was abusive in any way in order to give yourself time to evaluate the why's and how to avoid a similar relationship.

I was filming on the set of a new movie the other day and met someone who had just broken up with their live-in girl friend the day before. He was already on the prowl (so to speak) and was anxious to get back out there. I can understand that maybe because he's getting up there in age he may be a little impatient and looking for a companion however it is not logical if you ask me.

Jumping from one relationship to the next in the past for me proved to be not a wise choice for numerous reasons. One common reason is 'the rebound' relationship usually never turns out well as we seem to carry over our habits and reactions from the previous relationship. Let's say for example the person you were living with had habits and behaviors that may have been demanding and your typical reaction was to tune them out or snap back at them... going into a new relationship almost immediately would typically cause you to have the same reactions to the new person and hence, you basically just created the same identical relationship, just with a new person. If you allow yourself time alone and time to heal then the chances of your having the same relationship will be less likely.

If by chance you were in a somewhat 'controlling' relationship and your reactions to that was either to bow down and do what you're told or to rebel and do exactly the things that person didn't want, then again, you're carrying old baggage into the new relationship. In many cases the new person may not be controlling at all and may just express concerns or desires and instead of hearing them for what they are, you're initial reaction may be one of frustration and / or anger, carried over from the resentment you felt from the previous relationship.

Although I myself have been guilty of 'jumping' into a new relationship almost immediately after a break up, I don't recommend it. I used to think 'well this time it'll be different' or 'he's a great guy and I can't wait or I might miss out' are all things that only seemed to get me into trouble and have repeat relationships, even though it was not my intention.

I would have to agree with my friend, at least 6 months is a good rule of thumb if you had a serious relationship. Now if it only lasted a few months then I'd say wait at least 6 weeks and allow yourself time to be with yourself for a bit. Get back into a normal routine of doing things on your own, remember the things you liked to do and maybe didn't get to while you were in a relationship.

Another thing I've learned the hard way, is to remember that when you are in a relationship to always have some 'me' time. I have found myself being guilty of this too... when in a relationship we sometimes give up our 'me' time for 'we' time and in essence may neglect to do the things we truly enjoy doing. For some it may be reading a book, surfing the internet for the latest news, playing a video game or for me personally, it was reading and doing my tarot cards.

Not a lot of people are understanding of how fun and accurate tarot cards are and so to avoid conflict, I wouldn't do my cards for fear of an argument or being ridiculed. Now, before entering a relationship I know to make sure that there are no misconceptions or disagreements about tarot cards because I don't want to be with someone that isn't open-minded and understanding that they aren't 'bad'. My ex-husband was ok with me doing my cards but he seemed to have feelings of neglect if I chose to read a book! He didn't like it when I wrote or read because he felt he was being ignored or that I spent too much time reading. I personally like to read a book almost non-stop, so it may take me a couple of days to finish a book and I choose to read it in every bit of my spare time. I just find that one absorbs it more if you don't put it down for a few days and it's just more enjoyable and memorable if you read it from cover to cover.

Now, after doing research I've learned that it's actually advised that in order to maintain a healthy relationship one must do things that they enjoy doing, especially having their personal 'me' time to do the things that make them feel like 'themselves'. Now obviously there are some things that being in a relationship causes us to change about ourselves, like going out with our single friends to clubs into the wee hours of the night. Most people know that clubs are technically a 'meat market' and if you're drinking you're putting yourself in a dangerous position for the chances of cheating. Our senses are dulled, our judgment and decision making become blurred and let's face it, when 'we' drink we just aren't thinking straight. It's best to change anything that puts you in a position to make poor choices and may cause one to cheat... just saying.  

Back to the subject at hand, I must say that if you're in fear of being alone or in the case of my new friend, he's just looking for someone to enjoy life with; I would have to say take it slow! Yes life is short, but in the long run if you allow yourself some time before jumping into another relationship, the chances of that relationship being more successful increase. If you allow yourself some 'me' time before pursuing a new person / relationship, your goal of having a successful relationship may actually have a better chance of survival as opposed to repeating the previous relationship and the same or similar problems. 

So if you just broke up with someone, whether by your choice, their choice or mutual consent, ask yourself "do I want the exact same relationship or do I want one that could possibly last a life time?" If the answer is one that could possibly last a life time, then I say WAIT! Give yourself some time and learn how to enjoy being on your own for a bit... remember the things that make 'you' YOU! I've heard it said many times that if you can't be 'alone' or are afraid to be alone, then that's exactly what you must do, for if you can't stand yourself, what makes you think someone else can? In the silence, one learns who they truly are... and in order to fully love another, you must be able to fully love yourself so if you aren't able to be alone, what does that say about you?  

Another thing my new friend said is that he didn't hear her express that there were any problems, he never saw it coming. Which leads me to wonder, was she in the relationship alone or did she feel alone? Sometimes we just go through the motions and take others for granted, this too would be something that I would be analyzing about myself if it were me. It also makes me wonder about how much he was interested in what I had to say but yet didn't hear her? Does that mean that he only shows true interest for a short time and maybe down the road thinks he knows all 'her' stories and in effect doesn't 'talk' to 'her' anymore? Another few things to consider in your 'down time' are all the points or reasons for the break up, to avoid those issues in the future we must figure out what it is that we did to contribute to the other person's choice to leave. If you jump into another relationship too soon, you're missing out on the time needed to understand what may be key issues that 'you' personally have. Are you so absorbed in yourself that you didn't hear their cries for more attention or meaningful conversation?

It's easy to blame the other person and say things like 'oh they found someone else and were cheating' or 'they were just unhappy' and shrug it off as if we didn't play a part in their being unfaithful or not being happy... the key here is that usually a person doesn't stray if their needs are being met, so what did you do to contribute to them WANTING to find someone else?

In short, take some time off after a break up and get back to the basics... figure out what it is you did or didn't do, how you contributed to the break up and dissatisfaction of either yourself and /or your spouse. Figure out what it is you like to do with your free time so that in your next relationship you set some healthy boundaries and time for yourself.

Also, a good thing to contemplate is what you are looking for in a relationship and in a spouse so that you know it when you see it. I know not everything is the way we want it to be or expect it to be, nor are people, but there are some things that we can choose in a mate as far as our personal preferences. For example, I prefer someone who believes and worships God, someone who doesn't drink or drinks only a couple times a month (or less) and someone who is spiritual and believes in things such as reincarnation, karma, being kind to animals, wants to have kids and likes to read. I also observe things like their temper, if they get jealous or have control issues. (Of course my list is longer, this is just an example.) We all have our personal preferences and I believe that we should take our time and get to know someone before we jump into a relationship that may not be what we thought it would be or hoped for.

Jumping into relationships before truly getting to know someone is one of the main reasons that I believe causes 'us' to make a poor choice and land ourselves in abusive relationships. Abuse can come in many forms, whether from someone who is controlling, jealous, have mental issues, or as far as someone being physically or mentally abusive. Take your time and choose wisely, your life may depend on it!

Love & Light,


Monday, April 9, 2012

Don't injure your child!!! How to properly pick up a child and avoid injury, a must read for caregivers and parents!

I apologize if I offend anyone however I would rather offend and help to educate than to see a child injured... enough is enough already.

Since I was about 8 years old I have been caring for children, babies especially. I also went to a college accredited tech school called The American Nanny Plan, Inc. (which unfortunately I cannot find online anymore but was a great school where I earned 24 college units in Early Childcare and Child Nutrition.) I knew immediately that the solution to finding a way to support my son and myself was to become a Nanny and a Preschool teacher, especially since that had been the extent of my work experience up until then, it was the only thing I really knew how to do! I became a Nanny as soon as I completed my education there and later when my son was older I became a Preschool teacher and was able to take my son with me everywhere I went. It was the perfect solution for me and I've been thankful ever since.

What really ruffles my feathers is seeing parents and caregivers of all ages improperly lift children. I had an advantage of the do's and don'ts but what I just don't understand is the lack of common sense and lack of parents and caregivers at least doing some research on the subject of parenting and / or how to properly lift a child. I would think that common sense would tell a person that if YOU can't be lifted safely off the ground by one arm, by your head or even leg, what makes someone think a young child can be? Because many young children can't openly object to the way they are being lifted, I feel compelled to be their voice. In all of my 30 years in child care I have used common sense as well as my education to help aide me but all of the education I've had has left me unable to know how to openly address my concerns directly with a parent or caregiver... I mean how do you tell a parent without offending them that they can dislocate their child's arm by lifting them or jerking them off the ground by one arm? 

I am addressing this concern today because I can no longer hold it in... yesterday I saw a father in a mostly dirt parking-lot carrying an infant of about 11 months in one arm and holding the arm of his second child, around the age of 2. The toddler's shoe was coming off and the distracted father didn't see it, instead the child was trying to fix his shoe by pushing the toe into the ground which caused dirt to scatter through the air... I heard the father sound irritated as he walked too fast for the toddler to keep up as it was, and he said 'Ugh, why do you keep doing that?!!!' with that, he turned to the child and pulled him up by one arm, about 4 1/2 feet off the ground (in a jerking manner) and picked him up. He dropped one of the child's hats on the ground and I quickly ran to pick it up for him, shouting to him that he'd dropped it and I'd get it for him. He was obviously frustrated and abruptly told me that 'he had it'; he refused my help as he bent over quickly, both kids being nearly upside down as he did... I tried to help lighten his mood by saying in a nice tone, that he sure had his hands full and he said that they would be even fuller soon as his wife is expecting another baby!!!!

Now as a mother I can understand how frustrating being a parent is and when I was a Nanny at one time I cared for a toddler of about 2, her newborn baby sister and my son who was about 8 months old at the time. I cared for them in my apartment which happened to be on the second floor (all they had available when I moved in) and I carried three children up and down the flight of stairs every day. I was as gentle as possible and did so out of fear that something could happen to the toddler if I left her at the bottom of the stairs or let her try to climb the stone steps alone, the safest alternative was to carry them all at once. I was successful and had no problems doing so.

I understand that sometimes our nerves are tested by our toddler's, especially if they seem to be dragging their feet, but there is no excuse for not doing research or using common sense to understand that you can dislocate a child's shoulder, elbow and / or wrist by picking them up by one arm. When I carried the three tots up the stairs, I had the baby in the crook of my arm and on my shoulder, body to body; my son holding onto me and me using my hand to help support him, again body to body and when I picked the toddler up I squatted down and scooped her up with my other arm and had her sitting on my hip, never once picking her up by the arm...

I did some research on Google before beginning this post and found little information on the subject however it is there. Most comments I found were from mothers' stating how their child got their arm dislocated by their father picking their child up this way, child care workers who wound up facing abuse charges and a post by a nurse explaining something called Nursemaid's Elbow which apparently is a ligament that becomes pinched when picking up a child by their arms instead of under the armpits. I also found a post by a grandmother who was concerned because her son-in-law picked up his toddler son by not only one arm, but by the foot and lifted him off the ground by placing his hands over his ears and lifting him by his head! Now in my opinion common sense would tell you that these are all very dangerous for a child! But like the saying goes, Common sense isn't so common! So here I am, risking offending parents and caregivers that believe this is acceptable, guess what? IT'S NOT!!!

I also am very bothered when I see parents and caregivers pick children up by their forearms as this not only looks painful but I've seen red marks left on childrens' arms after being picked up in this manner and this is another method that can not only cause the shoulder(s) to become dislocated, apparently it's another cause of Nursemaid's Elbow, causing the ligament in the shoulder to be pinched and apparently is very painful and requires medical attention.

So please, when lifting a child off the ground, out of a chair or out of their crib, pick them up under their armpits! This method is far less dangerous and less painful for the child. But please don't squeeze too tight as you could damage their ribs!
Also, when holding a newborn, please be sure to support their head!

I saw a father of 2 kids yesterday holding a newborn in his arm, with the baby's head dangling off his elbow, instead of resting within it. When I told him he wasn't supporting the baby's head, he looked at me like I was crazy! Really? Isn't that parenting 101? One should always support a child's head when carrying, lifting or holding a baby, especially a newborn. The rule of thumb on this one is, if the child can hold it's head up, then you don't need to support it... but until the child can support it's own head, it is always a must that you support it or you can cause damage to the neck and spine.

This link is for another blog addressing safely lifting a child and a news report on CNN:

I've also personally visited my Chiropractor's office many, many times in the last 15 years to know a few things about picking one up by the head or neck... one of the comments placed by a mother in response to the grandmother's concern about her grandchild being lifted by his head stated that it's OK to pick a child up by the head since when they're born that's how the doctor delivers them.

For the record, let it be known that due to the head being pulled at child birth, a child's spine and neck actually become pulled, twisted and sometimes causes things such as allergies, learning disabilities, ear infections, ADHD, asthma, chronic crying (because of pain and discomfort) and pinched nerves which can lead to numerous health issues. My Chiropractor has pamphlets in his office about the problems child birth can cause and the list is extensive and some can be seen online at his website, link below.

It is actually recommended that babies see a Chiropractor after birth so that they can ensure the child didn't experience any damage or pinched nerves. I don't recommend just 'any' Chiropractor either, as a lot will just make adjustments without first doing x-rays to see what problems exist or can be out of place. I recommend a Holistic Chiropractor who also does Kineseology as they not only do x-rays before even touching a patient but they also do nerve tests to ensure what they are adjusting is needed and beneficial. If you're in the Vegas area, my Chiropractor is Dr. David B. Cohen and he can be found here:

Here's the link for the video of the childcare center that arrested childcare providers for picking up children by one arm, amongst other reasons: the story shows that upon visiting the hospital the hospital contacted the police because the child was in massive pain and could barely move.

Here's a couple of links explaining Nursemaid's Elbow and both links offer other valuable information about childrens' health:

God Bless!

Love & Light,